TOW the ski trip
by MinaParole
Summary: alternative ending to the episode TOW the ski trip.
1. Chapter 1

Hi Everybody, I posted this Fic in a Friends Forum a while ago, and I thought I should post it here as well. Hope you like it those who are reading it for the first time.

**TOW THE SKI TRIP**

"All right Pheebs, your cab's ready." Said Ross after filling the tank with the gas he had brought to save his friends from spending the night in that cold, isolated restroom.

"All right, let's go!" Rachel said right away as she initiated her way to the cab without even looking at him. She was eager to go away from there.

"You're welcome." The sarcasm in his tone didn't go unnoticed by anybody.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?" that was it, her words had angered Ross and both started yelling at each other, just like they had been doing for the past weeks whenever they were together.

"We were on a break!"

"Y'know Ross why don't you put that on your answering machine!"

"Hey-hey, it's valid okay? And I'm not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me."

"What?" Rachel exclaimed looking towards Monica.

"I don't know." She responded quietly.

"That's what you said last night."

"What I said was, was that I understood. Joey's the one who agreed with you!"

"Really Joey?" Rachel asked in disbelief. They all turned to look at Joey who was leaning on the car not paying much attention to the argument that was taking place.

"What?" he asked after some seconds.

"Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here." Phoebe intervened.

"No, I think it's very obvious who's wrong here." Rachel said with her arms firmly crossed on her chest.

"Obviously not to Joey." They all turned to Joey again and the same situation was repeated, from that moment they all started yelling at each other, defending their on opinions. Chandler, who was getting more and more uncomfortable by the situation, started dancing in his own nonsense way trying to catch everybody's attention. Phoebe, the only one noticing Chandler's behaviour, tried to stop the fight.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Look what you're doing to Chandler!" they all quit yelling and looked at Chandler, who immediately stopped his movements and Phoebe went on speaking "Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? You don't, all right you don't have to love each other, okay? You don't, you don't even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other."

"Yeah, and not put us in the middle." Joey added

"Yeah, otherwise, I mean that's, that's, that's just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want?" they both look away, knowing she was right "Can you be civil?"

"Yeah." Rachel said softly.

"I can." Ross said, looking down at his shoes. After some seconds of silence Phoebe spoke.

"Okay. Good, all right, let's get back in the car, 'cause it's freezing, and my chest is unsupported" Phoebe said running towards the cab with her arms wrapped around her chest.

"we'll call you when we get back." Monica said kissing her brother's cheek and feeling bad for leaving him that way.

"Okay."

"Maybe we can like go to a movie or something" Phoebe followed after her.

"Okay."

"Or, or the rodeo!" Phoebe exclaimed excited.

"That would be great." He said. After saying goodbye to his friends he hopped into the car and observed them drive away. When there was no sight of the car he started the car Carol had lent him, but to his surprise and terror it didn't. He desperately pressed the hoot over and over again praying for his friends to hear it.

:::::::::::::::::

They finally reinitiated their way to Rachel's sister's cabin but it hadn't even been a minute when they stopped again, alerted by the sound of a hoot.

"guys I think that's Ross!" Joey warned turning around to look through the back window.

"Pheebs, go back, he might need something" Monica said worried. Rachel let out a sigh of irritation and they all knew the reason but didn't say anything. Phoebe stopped the car and all of them minus Rachel got out of the car. Ross felt relieved seeing his friends again.

"what happened dude?" Chandler asked as he didn't waste time in putting another cigarette between his lips.

"I think the battery is dead…." He replied while he opened the motor tap and looked at it not really knowing what he should do.

"let me see…" said Joey as he put up the sleeves of his jacket and bended over the motor. After some minutes in dispute about the real problem of why the car didn't star, they gave up.

"what do we do now?" "Do you have jump leads, Pheebs?"

"nuh-huh"

"well...I guess we'll have to leave the car here and you'll have to come with us…" Just then Rachel got out of the car, tired of waiting.

"what's taking you so long?" she protested.

"Ross' car does not start…." Monica answered.

"and…?" she said not caring about what she had been told.

"and? You don't expect us to leave him here all alone, do you?" Monica exclaimed a bit bothered by her friend's behaviour. Rachel just rolled her eyes and turned around to walk back to the car, she didn't want to start a fight again.

"Rach wait!" Monica ran after her; she turned around with her arms crossed over her chest and sent her a serious look.

"what?"

"mmh…we were wondering…since Ross' car doesn't work…if he could come with us…" she asked cautiously knowing she wouldn't take the news quite well.

Rachel stared at her friend, disbelieving what she had just asked her.

"how can you even think of that! Of course not!"

"C'mon Rach" she pleaded "we could drive him back home but we are almost in the cabin, if we go back we won't be there till three in the morning at the earliest!" Rachel sighed knowing she was right, but the thought of spending the whole weekend seeing him bothered and scared her above all. "and there is no way we are leaving him here!" Monica quickly added. Seeing she wasn't getting any answer she got closer to her best friend and placed her arm around her shoulders. "honey, I know that what I'm asking for it's very tough after what happened to you two some weeks ago…but you have to understand, we can't leave him here…"

"I know…" she said softly, looking down at the floor.

"so…?"

"I guess he can come…I don't have any other option, do I?" she said resigned. Monica immediately hugged her full of happiness.

"thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"okay, stop it!" Monica kissed her cheek and ran towards the others to tell them the good news while Rachel hopped into the car, not wanting to see him just yet.

They all welcomed the news gladly, except for Ross, who couldn't be sure if going with them was such a good idea. He knew he would have to see her whether he liked it or not, and the thought of being near her and not being able to grab and kiss her whenever he felt like killed him.

"guys I don't think this is a good idea…" they all went serious and looked at him.

"what!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"why should I go, she doesn't want me there…and it will make things worse!...I, I, I'll just wait for the wrecker here…"

"are you crazy or what!" his sister frowned "you're coming with us and that's it"

"Monica you don't understand! We haven't spent more than five minutes together since our break up and all we did was to fight over and over again! I don't think I could go through a whole weekend like that, it'd kill me" the way he said those words broke their hearts, knowing perfectly what he meant since they all had been witnesses of those moments.

"I know it's going to be hard, but try to think positive, maybe these days together will bring you closer again…and who knows, maybe you'll end up fixing things up" Ross sighed, wishing his sister was right, but he didn't hold his hopes too high, Rachel hated him and nothing would change that, but he couldn't blame her, even though his actions had never been intended he felt disgusted with himself. He lowered his head, trying to make the best decision.

"if you're not comfortable you can always call a cab and go back home…but there is no way we are leaving you here tonight" his sister's final sentence convinced him a little bit, and he had to admit that waiting in that isolated, dark place all alone was all but appealing.

"okay, I'll go…" he quietly said, they all smiled to him and walked together to the car. Ross hopped into the car after his four friends were already sat. The room left for him was rather small, since there were four of them sitting in the back seat, but he didn't even dare to complain, afraid she could hear him and reproach him. The drive up to the cabin stayed in complete silence; Chandler and Joey had fallen asleep and Monica was about to follow them; but Ross couldn't sleep, he just stared out the window not really seeing much since the night was very dark and he was sunk in his thoughts, thoughts of her, and wondering how he would handle being so close to her.  
He looked at her from the corner of his eyes from time to time not daring to look at her directly, she had her elbow rested on the door, supporting her chin as she also stared out the window, but he knew neither she was paying attention to the landscape passing by,  
She was as worried as he himself.

They got to the cabin near ten o'clock; they observed the house as they took their luggage out of the car. It looked big and very nice.

"holy cow! That's a big cabin…How many bedrooms are there?" Chandler asked as they crossed the door and observed the spacious living room.

"mmh…three, we'll have to share them…"

"I call Monica!" Phoebe yelled right away as she grabbed on her arm. Monica shrugged seeing the pleading look in Rachel's eyes. The room filled with silence, given that Chandler and Joey would share the other and there was only one more left.

"mmm this is awkward" Chandler said between coughs.

"I'll sleep on the couch…" Ross offered, speaking for the first time.

"well, that's obvious" Rachel replied sharply not looking at him directly. The tension grew between the group, a situation that was making Chandler especially uncomfortable, so he tried to take a cigarette out of the packet, which he immediately returned after meeting Rachel's killing stare.

"so Monica, what are we having for dinner? I'm starving!" Joey finally spoke.

"Joey I think we should unpack first…we'll talk about dinner later"

"But I'm starving!" he whined.

"just eat some chips or something!" the voices faded as they all, except Ross, walked upstairs towards the bedrooms, carrying their luggage with them. Ross let out a sigh; being there alone made him ask himself once again why he had decided to go with them; the coldness with which she had treated him had let him know she was as upset as the day of their break up, and now, more than ever, he knew she wouldn't forgive him for what he had done whether it had been intended or not. He sighed again as he sat on what was going to be his bed for the next two days.

Rachel closed the door to her room and let her body lean on it; she bit her lip as she tried to compose herself, she was feeling overwhelmed by all the feelings he provoked on her, feelings as contrasting as hate and love, but overall, she still felt hurt, hurt by the man she had trusted the most in the world. With her eyes shut tightly she breathed deeply, fighting to keep the forming tears inside; she had to be strong, she repeated in her head.  
Minutes later she grabbed some covers and a pillow and walked towards the girls' room. Monica opened the door.

"hey! What's that for?" she asked referring to the bulge she was carrying on her arms, which almost covered her completely.

"Can you give this to Ross when you go down there?" she asked as she placed the bulge on her hands, not giving her time to refuse.

"why? can't you do it yourself?" Rachel just stared at her "okay, you don't have to say anything, but honey, you can't act this way all weekend…"

"Mon, please, don't give me a lecture…just give this to him when you go to dinner, bye" she said turning on her heels.

"wait! Aren't you coming for dinner?"

"no…I don't feel like eating…" Monica was about to interrupt but she went on "see you tomorrow Mon, if you guys need anything I'll be in my room…"

Monica just sighed as she watched her friend walk back to her room.

She rolled to the other side of the bed once again, hoping this new position would help her fall back to sleep, but Morpheus seemed to have left her that night. Her growling stomach begging for some food broke the silence of the night. It was still too soon to have breakfast but she decided to go for it, that way she wouldn't have to face him later.

She put her robe around her body and crept silently down the stairs. The sun hadn't risen up yet so the house was in complete darkness, just the soft light coming from the fading fire illuminated the living room. The kitchen and the living room weren't separated by walls so taking out the things without making noise had become an impossible mission.

"Rachel" Ross murmured. A yelp escaped Rachel's mouth, startled by the sound of his voice.

"shhh, you're gonna wake up the guys!" he murmured as he got up from the sofa and walked towards her. She got nervous when she noticed he was getting closer to her and then sat on the other side of the counter where she was pouring herself a glass of milk.

"what are you doing up so soon?" he tried to break the ice.

"what do you want, Ross?" she said serious and seeming oblique to his presence, but behind the counter her trembling legs gave her away, being there with him and alone couldn't make her feel any weaker.

"I just wanted to thank you…"

"for what"

"for letting me stay here…"

"it actually wasn't my choice, they made me do it" she sharply answered as she turned towards the cabinets to take some muffins.

"well…thanks anyway" he looked down at his hands resting on the counter, he wanted to tell her so many things but her curt attitude towards him crushed him badly.

"anything else?" she asked holding the glass and the muffins in her hands, ready to go upstairs. He looked at her for a moment; even though it was dark he could still perceive her cold stare, a stare that didn't belong to his Rachel, he didn't see love in her eyes anymore, just hate, and that made his heart ache so much.

"no…"

"good! Bye then…" and just like that she went back upstairs. Ross, still by the counter, buried his face between her hands, blaming himself for not having stayed in that restroom, at least in that place he would have been safe from her indifference and cutting attitude that was making his heart ache so badly.

Rachel closed the door of her room and finally let out the air she had been holding. Her eyes filled with tears, no matter how mad she was at him she didn't enjoy treating him like that.  
She left the muffins and the glass of milk on the bedside table and laid back on the bed, she was not hungry anymore and the lump stuck on her throat wouldn't let her swallow anything anyway. She gripped the covers tightly around her body and there, curled up under the protective embrace of the covers she finally broke into tears, just like she had done every night ever since their break up.

….  
"Guys you'll have to lend me some of your clothes, I don't have anything here, except for this…" Ross said as he poured some cornflakes on his bowl.  
"well that should be Chandler…I just brought two t-shirts and one underwear …"

"you're disgusting, just disgusting!" Chandler said sending Joey a dirty look  
"you can borrow whatever you need man" he smiled and slapped his back.

"thanks dude"

"damn it! It's foggy outside! I'm afraid we won't be able to ski this morning…" Monica said coming back to the table where they were having breakfast.

"Where's Rachel?" asked Joey

"I guess she's still sleeping…"

"Should we call her?" Chandler asked

"She already had breakfast…" Ross softly said looking down at his bowl as he put a spoon full of cereals into his mouth.

"what? when?"

"like two hours ago…"

"how do you know?"

"'cause I saw her"

"did you guys talk?" asked Phoebe interested

"if you can call that a conversation then yes…"

"why? What happened?" Monica asked with concern.

"I just thanked her for letting me stay here, and guess what she said? They made me do it!" the rest looked at him with compassion but no one said a word.

"This was a stupid idea! I shouldn't be here, see? She is not coming down because I'm here!"

"she's still hurt Ross…but things will get better…it has to! You have to find a way to get along, otherwise it's gonna be the end of this" said Monica pointing at the group. Just then Rachel entered into the living room, the sudden silence let her know they had been talking about her but she didn't actually care. She smiled to them and walked towards the main door.

"where are you going?" Joey asked curious.

"duh! To ski" she said pointing out her clothes and the skies she was carrying.

"but Rach it's foggy outside" Monica warned.

"don't worry, I know this place as the back of my hand, I'll be fine"

"Rach, you shouldn't go, it's dangerous…" Ross said to everybody's surprise. Rachel turned and stared at him.

"who are you to tell me what I should or should not do?" she said with one hand on her hip and a challenging stare.

"someone who cares about you!" he exclaimed.

"then stop caring, okay?"

"Rach he is right, you can't see properly out there, it'd better if you stayed here…"

"ugh who are you, my parents? I can take care of myself, if you wanna come you're widely welcome, if not, I'll see you at lunch." with that she left the house leaving all of them worried, especially Ross.

"god! When did she become so stubborn?" Monica said.

"guys I'm gonna go after her…I don't care if she gets mad at me, she shouldn't be alone…" Ross said as he got up and put his jacket on.

"good luck with that" Chandler said.

"we've got to do something with these two…they cannot go on like this…it's becoming annoying!" Monica said once Ross was out of sight.

"I know, they are hurting each other so much…" said Joey

"hey! I've got an idea!" Phoebe exclaimed, the rest of them looked at her expecting some crazy Phoebe idea "since we can't skii today, why don't we all go to the nearby village to spend the day? That way these two would be alone and maybe they can fix things up!" she said excited by her own idea.

"yeah! Let's do that! That will make Rachel happy!" Chandler said sarcastically.

"I think it's a good idea" Joey said, the rest directed their gaze to Monica, waiting for her opinion.

"mmmh, I don't know…they keep hurting each other whenever they are in the same room...what will make this time different?"

"I don't know! Maybe they just need to spend more time together alone! Let's just try! They can't get worse than they already are anyway…" after some seconds of silence and thinking Monica spoke.

"okay, let's go! But you'll be the one blamed for this, you know that right?" Phoebe rolled her eyes and nodded. Thirty minutes later they hopped into the car and left the cabin.

...

will post the next chapter tomorrow


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel walked up the snowed forest; her face frowned, still enraged by the argument she had just had with her friends. Didn't they understand how hard it was for her to be around him after he had cheated on her? She didn't even care if the day was foggy, she just needed to get the hell out of there, and skiing would surely help her take her mind off him.  
Once on the top, she took a look around, a few people were there in spite of the bad weather. She then looked ahead and taking a deep breath she closed her eyes as she slid her skies along the snowed hill, the fresh wind hitting her face felt wonderful, peaceful.

Ross gasped for breath, exhausted from walking that inclined hill; his feet were soaked and frozen because of the inappropriate footwear, but he kept walking; she was far ahead of him and he couldn't spot her anymore. A sudden noise followed by a loud scream startled him, making him stop in his tracks. The scream had sounded a lot like Rachel, which made his stomach turn in preoccupation. He turned around and ran towards the direction he thought he had heard the crash.

"!" Rachel exclaimed. She had gotten so carried away that she hadn't seen the little bush in her way and her skies ended up trapped within it, making her fall heavily against the snow. She sat up straight and tried to place her feet on the floor but a sharp pain ran through her leg as she tried.  
"ow, ow, ow" she groaned in pain, her ankle had twisted as a result of the fall and she couldn't stand up.

"Rachel! Are you okay?" Ross yelled as he came running when he finally spotted her.

"what the hell are you doing here! Did you follow me?" she said both dumbfounded and angry forgetting about her injured ankle.

"I just…." He trailed off not knowing what to say.

"I can't believe you've followed me!"

"I was worried okay?"

"I told you not to! I can take care of my self!"

"yeah, I can see that…" he said ironically, watching her unsuccessful attempts to get up.

"owwww ow ow" she bit her lip, the pain was growing by the minute and it made her lose strength and fall to the ground again when she was almost standing. Ross bended over to help her but she quickly pulled away.

"don't touch me!"

"I'm just trying to help you"

"I don't need your help!"

"sure!" he said with irony "I should go then…" he turned around and started to slowly walk away, knowing she would ask for his help sooner or later. Rachel tried to get up once again, but she failed and because of this latest effort her ankle got worse, making her tremble in pain and making her eyes water. She had to bit her lip not to yell her heart out. She let out a frustrated sigh knowing she wouldn't be able to get out of there without his help.

"Ross!" she called out.

"yeah?" he said not even turning to look at her.

"Could you help me please?" she asked shyly.

"oh now you want my help?"

"if you're gonna rub it on my face I prefer to crawl to the cabin!" she said sending him a not so happy look. He smiled slightly and walked back to where she was.

"what happened?" he asked as he knelt down beside her.

"my ski got stuck on a bush and I fell, I think I might have twisted my ankle…"

"let me see…" he placed his hands on her leg and tried to lifted it a little to take off the boot but Rachel groaned in pain. Ross frowned.

"This looks serious…I think we should bring you to a hospital…"

"really?" she asked kind of scared.

"most likely, you might have broken a bone…let's carry you to the cabin and we'll see how it is" he stood and bended over to hold her. Rachel hesitated for a moment, she hadn't been this close to him in weeks and she dreaded it would make her feel vulnerable, but she couldn't do anything else but accept his help. He lifted her up in the air and held her closely to his body as he started to walk down the snowed hill towards the cabin.

"does it hurt a lot?" he asked quietly. Rachel nodded."see what happens when you don't listen to me?" he scolded her sweetly, she lifted an eyebrow.

"jerk" she said as she slightly slapped his cheek trying to hide a smile. He smiled and looked ahead. Downing that hill with her on his arms wasn't an easy task since the snow made his sneakers slippery, but he wasn't paying attention to that as his mind could only think about how great her arms felt around his neck, how he missed holding her on his arms just like that…nostalgic filled his body as well as a deep sadness.  
Rachel's feelings weren't much different; even though she was wearing thick clothes, she still could feel his arms around her body, and that mere contact made her feel weak, almost forgetting the reason why they were not together. She observed him from time to time; afraid he could catch her and make eye contact. Before they realized they were already at the front door.

"hey! Where is the car?" Rachel exclaimed. Ross turned around to find the drive way completely empty.

"I don't know…it was there when I left" he said confused. He then opened the door and entered the living room, the fire was lightened but no one was around, which was very weird. He carefully placed her on the couch and helped her take off her jacket.

"thank you" she said, it was almost inaudible but he could hear it and a small smile illuminated his face. He reached for her ear and as softly as she had said it he pronounced a sweet "you're welcome"; chills ran all through her body when his voice echoed in her ear and his breath caressed her skin, why did he have to be so gentle? She damned in her head, it was becoming impossible to be mad at him. She saw him sit down in the little table in front of her and extend her left leg on his lap.

"I'm gonna take the boot off, let me know if I hurt you okay?" she nodded and observed how he undid the fasteners and warily slid the boot out of her foot and then the sock. She frowned in pain as she tried not to scream. Once the boot was out she sighed in relieve, almost as though a heavy stone had been lifted from her foot and now she felt liberated. He placed the boot on the floor and grabbed her leg carefully, her ankle was bruised and it was starting to swell up.

"this doesn't look good…." He passed a hand over her bruised ankle which caused Rachel to wince.

"sorry"

"do you think it's broken?" she asked with a concerned look in her eyes.

" I don't know…I work with bones but fleshed ones aren't my speciality you know" Ross joked, trying to get her mind out of the pain. Rachel immediately chuckled and so did Ross, hypnotized by her sweet laugh. But when the laughter stopped the silence that filled the room made both of them uncomfortable. "we should go to the doctor and make sure everything is okay…" his voice sounded low and timid.

"okay…" Rachel responded in the same shy tone.

"I'm gonna call Monica so she can help you change into more comfortable clothes…" he placed her foot over a pillow and quickly walked to the kitchen, he came back holding a bag of frozen vegetable. "Put this over the ankle, it will help stop the inflammation" she did as he told her and observed how he ran up the stairs in seek of Monica.  
She sighed deeply, she wanted to hate him for being so nice with her even after the way she had been treating him but something inside her didn't let her, instead, it made her miss him even more. She shook her head and pressed the cold bag upon her ankle, its coldness was indeed easing the pain little by little. She heard a noise behind her and turned her head to see him walk down the stairs wearing a confused expression in his face.

"what?"

"there is nobody up there…"

"what?" Rachel exclaimed in disbelief.

"there is nobody up there…" he repeated.

"I heard you, But where could they be? Have you looked in the patio?" Rachel said kind of freaked out, the last thing she wanted was to be alone with him; it only had been twenty minutes with him and she was already giving in to his charm, the same charm that had made her fall madly in love with him over a year ago.

"no, but I don't think they're there…the car is gone too, they must have gone someplace…"

"oh my god! They can't have left us here alone, can they?" she said bringing her hands to her forehead not very worried about her friends but for the situation they had intentionally put her in.

"I don't know…"

"I can't believe this! I think I'm gonna kick some asses when they get back here!" she yelled out showing how furious she was. She couldn't believe that her friends of all people would leave her alone with none other than him, as aware as they were about their situation. Her agitation caused her leg to fall from the pillow and hit her heel against the hard wood, a collision that made her yell in pain. Ross quickly approached her and helped her place her foot back on the pillow.

"with this foot? I don't think so…" Ross teased her, expecting to get a smile out of her but instead he received a deadly stare.

"I'm being serious! I cannot believe they did this to me!...You don't have to do anything with this, do you?" Rachel said in an accusing tone.

"what?" Ross asked dumbfounded by her question.

"did you ask them to leave so we would be alone?"

"you've gone crazy…" Ross said calmly as he stood up from the table and walked towards the chimney situated in front of the couch just so he wouldn't have to look at her, otherwise he would lose it and the last thing he wanted was another argument with her.

"well, you don't seem to be bothered by this at all! I bet this was all your idea, you wanted to get me alone and you just threw them away!" that was it, he couldn't stay quiet hearing her accusing him of such a thing. He quickly turned around and walked back towards her.

"do you really think I could do something like that?" Ross cried out practically in her face, making her back off against the couch shocked. "do you?" he repeated, his voice had gotten a tone she hadn't heard until then and his eyes were sparkling with fury, a combination that scared her as never before. "because if you DO think that, then you don't know me at all! Do you, do you ACTUALLY think I would ask them to leave to be alone with you when you treat me like ? Do you, Do you think I enjoy your indifference towards me? Because I don't! you make me feel horrible with myself, so much that many times I've wished the earth would swallow me up so I would disappear of your life forever!" Rachel was on the verge of tears, his words felt as thousands of bullets breaking into her skin and tearing up her entrails. But instead of letting him know her stubborness spoke for her.

"oh I'm sorry, I made you feel like ? Because when you cheated on me a felt JUST a little hurt" Rachel said with irony.

"that's very different!"

"you're right, it's very different, what you did was even worse!" she yelled back.

"you know what? To hell with this! You'll never listen to me" Ross exclaimed not able to take her reprimands anymore so he picked her up from the sofa, surprising her with his actions.

"what the hell are you doing!" Rachel said shaking her body to escape from his grip.

"you are sitting on MY bed" he said while he walked up the staircase.

"ROSS! Let go of me! Where are you taking me?"

"to your room! I don't feel like talking to you anymore!" he said while carrying her to her bedroom. He kicked the door open and immediately dropped her on the bed. "hope your ankle gets better" he sharply said before slamming the door behind him, leaving her there with a disconcert look on her face. His heart was beating so fast in his chest that he could hear the pounding in his ears. he sat on the top step of the staircase as he buried is face in between his hands, not sure whether he wanted to cry or break something to let that suffocating frustration out of his body.  
Never had he acted that way with her but her ridiculous accusations had driven him crazy, out of his mind. When he finally calmed himself and started thinking rationally again a wave of remorse came over him, he wanted everything to be as before, not make things worse. But how do you fix something that already seems to be broken into a million of pieces?

When his body recovered from the anxiety provoked by their argument he stood up and walked some steps back towards her room. He raised his hand curled up into a fist, ready to knock but instead his arm stayed still, unable to move as her mean words drifted back to his head, making him think about the situation; he was too tired to keep on trying and immediately being pushed away so if she did want to get things straight she would have to make the move. He dropped his arm with a sigh and turned around to support his body on the nearby wall. His body, somehow, felt twice as heavy and needed a hard surface to lean on or else he would fall aimlessly to the floor.

On the other side of the wall was an astonished Rachel, who hadn't moved an inch of her body since he had dropped her there and stormed out of the room. His unusual behaviour had left her truly shocked.  
When she noticed her body was struggling to get some air in her lungs she finally gasped, coming back to reality. She slowly lied on the bed and hid her face on the pillow as her mind replied the awful scene happened just minutes ago. She buried her face deeper into the soft object, wanting to stop the tears that were threatening her eyes. But this time those tears were cause of her own stubbornness and she hated herself for that. She should have thought it through before letting her instincts speak. Now that she thought about it coldly, leaving them there alone seemed indeed as something their friends could have invented with the attempt to get them closer…Or maybe they just went out to get some groceries and didn't realize they were putting us in this situation…? She asked herself, but swept that idea right away; who was she kidding? Those were her friends; she knew them pretty well to be sure that they never did anything without a purpose.  
She bit her lip, suddenly feeling a deep guilt for having accused him of such a crazy thing. She felt the urge to sit up on the bed, determined to go to talk to him; she wasn't sure what she would say to him but she certainly didn't want to leave things that way.  
However, when she placed her feet on the cold floor, an abrupt sharp pain made her remember her injured ankle.

"!" Rachel exclaimed with her eyes tightly shut as she raised her left leg from the floor. She looked around for the bag of frozen vegetables but it wasn't in sight, what made her guess she had dropped it when he, so quickly,had grabbed her and taken her there. For a moment she thought of going down there to get a new one but she erased it off her mind right away, since just a soft brush with a surface made his ankle ache as if numerous needles were being driven through her skin.  
The possibility of calling him for help also crossed her mind, but she felt stupid for even thinking that, as aware as she was of his angriness towards her right now. She let herself fall back on the bed and sighed, she would try to sleep a little, maybe that way the increasing pain in her leg would vanish. Owing to the lack of sleep the previous night she didn't have much troubles falling asleep.

Ross, on his side, went back downstairs and plopped himself on the sofa but he felt an oppression in his chest that asked him for some fresh air so he stood up again and walked out the front door. The temperature contrast felt awesome. Out there he saw the spot where he last saw the car and stared in that direction wondering how he would react when his friends dared to appear. if they did right in that moment he was completely sure he couldn't help himself and he would yell his head out at them, since if it hadn't been for their "brilliant" idea of leaving them alone things between Rachel and him would have improved, or at least it wouldn't have gotten worse.  
He entered the cabin minutes later carrying some woods to lighten up the fire and then he headed to the kitchen to cook something, whatever it was to keep his mind out of thinking or he would go crazy.

When her eyes opened again, two hours later, she looked around the room confused; it took her several minutes to realize she was in her sister's cabin. She brought her hands to her face and rubbed her sleepy eyes, as she did, fragments of her argument with Ross flashed her mind, but now it all seemed as part of a dream. Yes, everything had been a simple product of her imagination, right?  
She stood up from the bed, confident it had been a bad dream and eager to join her friends. But her foot dragged her back to reality, making her fall to the floor and yell in pain when she intended to leave the room.  
She quickly brought her hands to her ankle while her eyes blurred with tears due to the intense pain. She lifted her pants and freaked out when she noticed the bruise had darkened and the inflammation had increased.

"Rach! are you Okay?" Ross exclaimed as he abruptly broke into the room wearing a concerned look on his face after hearing her bloodcurdling scream. Rachel, surprised that he was there and even worried about her, didn't know how to act or what to say, she was too dumbfounded to produce any noise. Ross slowly ducked down beside her as he now, calmer, asked "does it still hurt?". Rachel hesitantly raised her gaze to finally meet his eyes, there wasn't a piece of anger in them, which made her feel more comfortable, but still she didn't know what to say afraid she could drive the situation into another argument.  
She slowly nodded returning her sight to her ankle.

"what happened?" Ross softly asked, offering his hand to her after a moment of only silence. Rachel directed her eyes to his hand, yet again surprised that he wanted to help her after all. She cautiously placed her hand over his and observed how he extended her arm over his shoulder while his other arm went behind her back and around her waist. "Did you stand on your foot?" he asked again seeing she hadn't answered his previous question. Rachel nodded shyly as she, with his help, got up from the floor and sat again on the edge of the bed. "Did you break your tongue too?" Ross joked, since she hadn't pronounced a word ever since he had entered. Rachel smiled slightly and lifted her gaze; he was standing just some centimetres away from her looking down at her in a way very different from that morning, when all she could see was fury.

" I…I just…don't understand…" she said still confused by his change. Ross looked away for a moment; knowing what was coming after that.

"let's just not talk about that now…" he softly said as he sat beside her on the bed.

"but…"

"put your leg up here" he quickly interrupted her motioning his hands to his lap. Rachel gulped not daring to say else and placed her leg on his lap. He carefully rolled her pants up and frowned.

"what?" Rachel asked, worried by his puzzled look.

"it has gotten worse…didn't you keep the bag on?"

"no…I think I dropped it downstairs…"

"you should have taken it…do you, do you have first aid kit around here?"

"yes, it's in the bathroom"

"okay, I'm gonna check if there is something we can use" he said while he cautiously lifted her leg and stood up "change into sweat pants, I'll be right back" he ordered as he walked to the door.

"Ross!" Rachel called his name, making him stop in his tracks right by the door. His eyebrow lifted in a query way. "…why?" Rachel asked helplessly. He looked down at his feet, trying to find the proper words, and then he looked at her again.

"Because I care about you no matter what…" he said grabbing the handle and closing the door behind him. His sincere words and the sadness in his eyes made her heart ache badly; why did he have to do that?, Why when she had been a total ass towards him? She damned in her head, feeling even guiltier than before.

As soon as he reached the bathroom Ross leaned on the sink for support, he felt overwhelmed by the contradictions taking place in his head. In a way he wanted to be mad at her, which he still was even though he had hidden it but seeing her wince in pain made him want to hold her and take care of her till the pain went away, and he knew he shouldn't care, but that natural instinct of him was stronger than his own will.  
He breathed deeply and then proceeded to look for things that could be usable to immobilize her ankle.  
Carrying some bandages, ointment and scissors he walked back into the room, but his feet suddenly stopped when he noticed that she wasn't wearing pants and her long, perfect legs were left to sight. He quickly looked in the other direction not able to control that familiar sensation that ran all through his body.

"what, what, where…are your pants?" Ross asked trying to seem cool and hide the nervousness that the little glimpse he had caught of her legs provoked on him.

"I was waiting for you…they are in those drawers but I couldn't reach for them" Rachel said shyly as she tightened the grip on the pillow that was covering her underwear. She knew it was stupid of her to do that since he had already seen her in less clothes than that, and many times, but somehow it felt weird being around him that way again, and she couldn't help but feel shy. "could you get them for me?" she added.

"of course" Ross quickly said while heading towards the chest of drawers in front of the bed. "which ones?"

"the blue, short ones" Ross grabbed it and handed it to her not ever taking is eyes off the wall.

"thank you" Rachel said as she slowly and carefully put the shorts on. "done" Ross let an unnoticed sigh out and sat on the bed. He gulped the lump in his throat, although she had pants on now those were shorts, so a big portion of her legs were still in sight, which made him feel kind of uncomfortable.

"it's hurts a lot" Rachel said biting her bottom lip, bringing him back from his thoughts.

"let me see what can I do…sit upright" he demanded. Rachel obeyed and rested her back on the headboard of the bed, extending her legs along it and with her injured one over a cushion. Ross sat in front of her foot and placed the several tools on the bed.

"I think this ointment will help ease the pain…" he said as he took the tube on his hand and spread the viscous liquid along her ankle. The thing was cold and felt amazing on her skin. Ross slowly placed his hands on both sides of her ankle, careful not to hurt her, and started drawing little circles with his thumbs to expand the fluid.

Rachel observed how his skilled hands slid over her sore ankle, rubbing her delicate skin with awareness. She closed her eyes for a moment, his caressing felt reassuring, wonderful, so much that she found herself enjoying his touch in spite of the pain.

"am I hurting you?" Ross asked. Rachel quickly opened her eyes, afraid she could have been caught and coughed nervously.

"mmm no,no…it's, it's good" She answered. Their eyes locked in an intense gaze, the same gaze they had shared so many times before, but Ross quickly broke it and looked back down at her ankle. Rachel followed his movements, wishing he hadn't looked away; she loved getting lost in his hazel-green eyes.

"are the guys back?" Rachel asked just to break the long silence that was seizing the room, since she already knew the answer would be no.

"no" Ross answered without lifting his head while his hands kept rubbing her ankle. When the substance had completely disappeared into her skin he grabbed the bandage and cut a pretty large strip off the roll. Rachel observed his movements attentively at the same time as her mind battled about whether it was the right moment to apologize; she had already mentioned their friends, she just had to be brave and mention the subject and apologize.  
She quietly sighed as she proceeded to speak."Ross, about this morning…"

"is it too tight?" He interrupted her before she could go on, leaving her frustrated. Rachel looked at her ankle and noticed he had already wrapped the bandage around it and was waiting for her answer.

"no, it's perfect…" "thank you" she said softly looking straight into his eyes, but he quickly looked away again.

"it was nothing…" Ross said quietly while gathering the objects to carry them back to their place.

"Ross wait! I want to talk to you"

"I don't want to talk" he said right away without bothering to look at her and heading towards the door.

"Would you listen to me?" her voice raised, due to the frustration she was feeling. Ross closed his eyes for a moment as he inhaled deeply so he wouldn't lose his temper and then turned around, sending her his coldest look.

"Why should I? Have you ever listened to me?" her mouth opened, her lips forming an "o" shape but no sound came out. She had stopped breathing as well; his cold stare and words had paralyzed her entirely. But inside her head a voice was screaming her to say something, whatever, or else he would leave.

"please…." Rachel begged, her eyes showing off the profound guilt she was feeling...

-  
so that's the second chapter, thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

"please…." Rachel begged, her eyes showing off the profound guilt she was feeling. "I just want to apologize…" she murmured. Ross hesitated for a moment, he didn't want to fight again and knowing how stubborn she could get sometimes there was a big chance that would happen. Nevertheless, the begging look in her eyes convinced him to stay. He closed the door and slowly made the way back to her bed.

"sit down" Rachel asked moving her leg to a side so that he had room to sit on the bed. Ross looked at her for a moment, trying to read in her eyes which way the situation would go as he carefully sat down.  
Rachel nervously rolled her eyes from a side of the room to the other, looking for the perfect words to start the conversation, but it seemed her mind wanted to play dirty trick on her since no words left her mouth for about the minute he had been sitting in front of her.

"so?" Ross said. Rachel sighed lowering her face. She could feel her cheeks warming up in embarrassment. She had to say it, now or never.

"I'm sorry" she finally blurted out, but his expression remained deadpan, as though he hadn't heard a thing. She took a deep breath and continued "Ross I'm so sorry for having accused you of such a crazy thing…really, I don't know what got into me! I just know I acted out of my mind and I hope you can forgive me…" Rachel observed him, he was looking straight into the wall, sank in thoughts. Rachel was getting more and more nervous with every second that passed without a word coming out of his lips. "Ross, please, say something…" she begged, her hands entangled tightly unconsciously.

"what do you want me to say? That I forgive you? Okay, I forgive you" Ross said in a slightly annoyed tone. Rachel closed her eyes as she pressed her lips together; he was still sore and getting things back to a right point where both felt good wouldn't be easy.

"you don't mean it…"

"no I don't, what did you expect? That I forgive you just like that after having been ignored and yell at for over three weeks now? You have too much faith Rach" he said getting up from the bed hastily and pacing around. Rachel bit her lip firmly to prevent herself from losing it again. She wanted to quit fighting with him, even if it meant having to give him the reason.

"okay, I'm sorry for all that! You can forgive me or not but I'm meaning all I'm saying" she paused. Ross had stopped and was now standing in the middle of the room, his hands on his hips and his head hanging a little. He was giving her the back so she couldn't appreciate whether he was still frowning in anger. "I know I've been hard on you lately, but I can't help it! It's the only way I know to push you away and make sure you won't get closer!…because I know when you do I become vulnerable! And I can't let that happen!" her voice cracked at the end as her eyes got misty. Ross slowly turned around, lifting his gaze and meeting her watery eyes. He felt the urge to run and hug her, but even though it was hard he ignored it, he couldn't do that now. They weren't a couple. He sat on the bed again and after a long silence he finally spoke.

"okay…I accept your apologies…" he quietly said. Rachel smiled slightly, this time he had sounded sincere.

"thank you" Rachel whispered, her eyes smiling, somehow she felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"I just need to know one thing…"

"what…" She asked quietly, half scared.

"That you won't treat me like that anymore…" he said lowering his gaze again. "I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything but I just can't go on seeing how much you hate me, it kills me…" he paused, his voice was trembling because of the efforts he was making not to cry. "it's hard enough that I've to deal with my own guiltiness of our break up…" Rachel choked back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Ross, I don't hate you" Rachel said in a sniff as she slowly shook her head."I could never hate you…" She whispered again.

"Rachel, don't lie please, I've seen it in your eyes…and I totally understand"

"Ross I was mad at you for having jeopardized what we had…but hate you? I could never, because I know you didn't do it on purpose…"

"then why don't you forgive me, give me another change?" He said in desperation as he held her hand and ducked down before her on the bed. Rachel looked away from his begging eyes, she couldn't let the conversation go back to that, otherwise they would end up hurt again.

"please Ross" she felt herself breaking down a little "don't do this again" she whispering between tears as she slowly pulled her hand away from his touch "let's not get there again…I don't have the energy…" Ross slowly stood up and turned around, his hand on his forehead, feeling stupid for having said those words. "Can we just be friends? As we were before anything happened?..." Rachel asked cautiously, not even sure she could do that herself.

"okay…" he mumbled in that sad tone that characterized him "if that's what you want…" he said, now facing her but with his head low to hide his disappointment. Another long, uncomfortable silence filled the room. "I'm…going downstairs…" he finally said, he received a nod from her and was about to leave when he noticed she was rubbing her stomach "are you hungry…?"

"a little bit…" she said timidly.

"I'll bring you something"

"no! I'll go down with you, I don't want to be shut in this room all day…" "if you don't mind…" Rachel said in a query way.

"Alright…" he offered his hands to her, which she immediately took in hers and shifted her body from the bed. His strong arms went around her waist again while she passed her arm above his shoulders for support. She bended her left leg so it wouldn't brush the floor and started giving little hops. When they were slowly downing the stairs a burn smell reached their noses.

"what's that smell?" she asked confused. Ross inhale harder and immediately his eyes widened.

"oh my god!" he exclaimed as he picked her up in his arms and ran downstairs.

"what, what, what?"

"I forgot I was cooking pasta!" he said alerted as he reached the couch and put her there before running towards the kitchen. Ross quickly turned off the gas and lifted the tap of the saucepan. Immediately a thick dark smoke spread out all over the kitchen and living room, making Ross cough repetitively. Rachel observed the scene from her spot in the couch with an amused look on her face.

"so, what are we having?" Rachel asked mockingly trying to hide the laughter.

"what about a solid pasta cube?" he said taking the spoon out the saucepan with the dry burned pasta stuck on it. Rachel burst out laughing. "what are you laughing at? This was all your fault" He said pretending to be hurt.

"what! My fault?" she asked arching her eyebrow.

"yes, you distracted me up there while this got burned"

"yeah right…just admit you suck" she teased him.

"whatever, you're worse than me"

"not I'm not!"

"yes you are"

"I can cook!"

"Making a salad is not cooking, Rach" Ross teased her back; Rachel sent him a deadly stare.

"FYI, I can cook other things"

"well, show me then" he challenged her motioning his hand to the cook.

"I would, but you know, I can't stand on my feet" she said tilting her head in a "sorry" way. They both share a chuckle, forgetting that just hours ago they were fighting like cats and dogs.

"shall I heat a pizza?" Ross suggested.

"yes please!" Rachel immediately answered almost pleading. She hadn't taken anything into her mouth since early in the morning and she was starving.  
She observed thoroughly how he took the pizza out of the fridge and unpacked it to later put it into the oven. After this, he turned around and started walking towards her, which took Rachel by surprise and she was caught staring, and though she had quickly turned away she was sure he had seen her and blushed furiously. Ross smiled to himself but said nothing.

"is your ankle better?" Ross asked as he sat next to her.

"what? Oh yes. Thanks" Rachel answered nervously.

"here" Ross said taking a pillow and placing it on the table and then resting her leg over it "it'd be better if your leg is outstretched"

"thanks" she said with a smile, endeared by his kindness. Ross smiled back and noticed how her body shivered slightly.

"are you cold?"

"a little…the fire is dying" she informed.

"I'll go get some wood"

"okay…" "but don't get distracted or the pizza will get burn too!" she teased him as he disappeared out the door, not before banging his fists together, giving her the finger in his own fashion. Rachel chuckled to herself.

"my god, it's has started snowing again" Ross said as he entered the house again, brushing with his free hand the snowflakes off his hair.

"it is?" Rachel asked surprised.

"yes, and pretty heavily…Didn't you check the weather before coming up here?" Ross asked while bending over the fireplace and throwing the wood in it.

"emmm…not really" Just then the oven bell rang.

"I think the pizza is ready! Hungry?"

"like you wouldn't believe!" Ross chuckled at her exaggerated gesture.

"what do you wanna drink?"

"water, please"

"okay"

A few minutes later they were sitting on the couch with the pizza box in between them. They ate the first piece in complete silence, looking at the fire in front of them but from time to time stealing glances of one another.  
Ross flinched as he remembered the last time they had pizza together. That day he wanted but never would be able to forget and which he could easily classify as the worst day of his life. The image of her standing in the middle of Monica's apartment broken in tears replaced the fire as if someone had put a giant poster of her there. He felt a hard pinch in his stomach that made his eyes blurry. Would he ever be able to forget that heartbreaking image of her?.

"are you okay?" Her voice dragged him back to reality; he nervously coughed and looked at her with a smile he wasn't feeling.

"yeah! I was just…thinking"

"about what?"

"about….the guys" he lied "I was wondering where they could be…the weather is not good enough to be out there" Rachel let out an exasperated sigh.

"to hell with them! It serves them right!"

"do you think they have gone back to the city?" Ross asked as he bit off another piece.

"I hope not…we don't have any other way to go back home…"

"right…they may be somewhere else I guess…" Another silence followed while they finished the last pieces of pizza. When they were done Ross brought the things to the kitchen and went back with a glass of water and something in her hand.

"take this" he demanded as he handed her a little white pill.

"what's this" Rachel asked confused.

"It's a painkiller; I found the box in a drawer. You won't feel a thing after taking this"

"wow thank you…" she said putting the pill into her mouth and gulping some water. "you're an awesome nurse, Ross" she said in a joking way.

"well, you don't know this but I do work as a nurse during the night" he said continuing her joke, they both shared a laugh.

"so, what do we do now…?" Ross asked.

"don't know…any ideas?"

"mmm…we could watch a movie..? do you have a Tv around here?" Ross asked looking around the room.

"nuh-uh…my sister doesn't leave anything valuable here…" Ross let a puff of air out thinking of other possibilities.

"let's talk…" Rachel suggested turning her body to look at him and placing her arm over the top of the couch.

"talk about what?" Ross said a little confused.

"I don't know…there is nothing else to do here" Rachel said shrugging.

"mmm….okay!" Ross exclaimed with a special sparkle in his eyes. "oh! I saw this thing on the Discovery Channel the other day, very interesting investigation ab…"

"you know what?" Rachel quickly interrupted him. "I think my sister left some board games around here. Let's play games!" she said excited pretending she hadn't heard him. Ross rolled his eyes.

"okay…where are they?" He said resigned.

"mmm look in those drawers over there" she said pointing to a side of the room. Right away, Ross walked back to the couch carrying some boxes in his arms.

"let me see…" Rachel said grabbing the boxes and placing them on her lap to have a look. "mmm twister…I little too injured for this game." she said placing it aside "chest board?" she asked bewildered "my sister knows how to play chest?" she said in disbelief. Ross shrugged as incredulous as her. Rachel placed the box aside and observed the next game.

"who wants to be a millionaire?" Ross read. "Is this actually your sister's cabin?" Ross joked.

"I'm starting to have doubts" she said between giggles. She then looked to the last game and frowned "Question tower?...Do you know this game?" Ross shook his head as he glanced at the red box. "well, you choose between these two" Rachel added.

"….mmmh…well, since you are awfully bad at 'who wants to be a millionaire' and I'd probably win you in the first round…I'll choose 'Question Tower'" Rachel sent him a deadly stare.

"I'd be offended but you're right, I suck at that game"

"let me read the instructions" he said taking the box in his hands. He turned it around and started reading "this game consists of a tower built with small, rectangular, wooden blocks, which each participant have to take out being careful that the tower doesn't collapse. Each block has a question written on it that must be answered by the participant situated on the right side of the one who took the block. If said participant doesn't want to answer, he would have to take two blocks in his turn. The person who makes the tower fall down would be the loser." Ross looked up at her and shrugged his shoulders "it looks easy"

"well, let's play!" Rachel said as she placed the box on the table where her leg was resting and carefully lifted the box, leaving the tower of blocks perfectly straightened on the table. "you start"

"why me?"

"because I say so"

"okay…" Ross said resigned. He looked at the tower for a moment as he reached for it with his hand. He decided to take one block that was situated in the middle. He carefully pushed it with his index and grabbed it when it leaned out of the other side. "that was easy" he said with a triumphal smile. "so, now I have to ask you this question…" he said with a grin in his face. He turned the block and let out a small laugh as he read it "what's the most embarrassing memory you can remember?" Rachel frowned.

"what kind of questions are these? I thought it would be cultural questions…"

"Apparently they're not. Why do you complain anyway? It's better for you! he mocked, which caused him a strong slap on his shoulder.

"that's for making fun of me" she said sticking out her tongue. Ross sent her an evil stare and urged her to answer the question.

"Answer!" Rachel rolled her eyes.

"you know already anyway…my most embarrassing moment was at Barry's wedding" Rachel quietly said as she blushed reliving the moment in her head.  
"and what happened there?" Ross asked pretending he didn't know anything and trying to contain the laughter that that memory brought. Rachel stared at him.

"you know exactly what happened, you were there too" she said a bit annoyed.

"was I? I don't remember…" he said shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head.

"well, too bad, I won't remind you" Rachel stated as she leaned forward to take a block. When her hand was about to make her movement, his voice sounded near her ear.

"her name was Lola…she was a showgirl…" Ross sang softly in her ear to distract her. Rachel sighed in exasperation as she tried to ignore him and keep her hand steady to grab the block, but he continued singing closer to her ear. Rachel rolled her eyes in irritation and in a quick motion, she elbowed him hard, hitting him in the shoulder again.

"ouch! What's up with all the hitting?" Ross said while leaning back on the couch and rubbing his arm.

"you earned them" she blurted out. Before he could tease her again she grabbed one of the blocks on the top of the tower and showed it to him with a smile.

"hey! You can't take that one!"

"why not? it doesn't say I can't anywhere" she said grinning proudly.

"cheater" Ross said quietly, but knowing she was right.

"okay! Here it goes…" she said with a grin on her face as she turned the block around and read the question "What was your dream job as a kid?" Rachel lifted her gaze towards him as she said. "that's pretty easy for you, palaeontologist right?"

"actually, no…I wanted… to be a…detective" Ross said feeling a little shy.

"what?" Rachel said in a chuckle. "you are kidding me"

"no I'm not, that was my first dream job, then I wanted to be a pianist and then… dinosaurs came into my life" Rachel laughed out loud. Her intense laughter infected him and Ross laughed too.

"are you serious? I would have never guessed it! How come did you want to be a detective!" Rachel asked, exaggerating the last word, still incredulous.

"well…I don't know…I guess I became interested when my parents bought me a detective kit for my 8 birthday…" Rachel laughed some more.

"sorry, but I can't picture you as a detective" she said between laughs.

"why not? I was a pretty good one as a kid, I used to spy on you and Monica and you never caught me once!" he said proudly. Rachel's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"you spied on us!" she said as she hit him on his shoulder playfully.

"yup! It was so much fun!" he said with a mischievous smile.

"oh my god…Does Monica know this?"

"don't think so, It's the first time I talk about it" he chuckled. Rachel shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm actually shocked….and what did we do, what did we say…?" she asked wanting to know more.

"sorry but I can't tell you that, that's detectives' first rule" he said serious.  
"oh come on! I deserve to know, you invaded our privacy" she claimed defensively.

"shh you're distracting me" he shushed her, not able to contain the laughter as he leaned towards the table to take a block.

"ugh! Okay, but we'll come back to that later!" she said pointing at him. Ross ignored her and took another block. When he had it in his hands he made the same movements as before and turned it around to read the next question.

"What is your wildest fantasy?" He asked with a naughty look on his face.

"why do I get all the embarrassing ones?" she said in a sigh.

"bad luck I guess" he said in a smirk. "answer!"

"no way, I refuse to answer that!"

"why not?

"because I don't want to"

"sissy"

"whatever"

"well…you gotta take two blocks now"

"no problem" she said bravely as she went for them very sure of herself. The tower trembled a little but she managed to take the two blocks without further complications. "and what question should I ask you?" she said looking at both blocks.

"pick one…"

"okay" she said grinning as she left one of the blocks on the table and turned the other to read the question. "What's the most romantic date you've ever had?" Rachel read, her smile slowly fading out of her face. Ross noticed this and went serious as well. The room filled with silence which made both of them uncomfortable.

"you don't have to answer that…I'll change blocks…"she said softly.

"no! it's okay…" as soon as he said this he regretted it and became nervous, since he knew his answer could get them into an even more uncomfortable situation and would bring back memories that both of them were trying to leave behind. He lowered his gaze; he wanted and needed to say something to break that awkward moment they were having so he took courage and spoke, full of nervous.

"the most romantic date I've had was…" he stopped to clear his throat. He lifted his head, but his eyes looked away from her. "was at the planetarium of Natural History Museum…with a very special person…" he softly added. Rachel pressed her lips together as her mind recalled that amazing night when they were together for the first time; she looked at him, his head was low again and his eyes seemed to be lost in thoughts, the exact same thoughts that were filling her with nostalgia.  
She noticed she had been spellbound for some time when she perceived his figure leaning towards the tower to take another block. She coughed nervously and observed how he successfully took the block out and asked the question as if the moment they had just had, had never happened.  
They kept on playing as before, laughing at the silly questions until the already unstable tower fell due to Ross' trembling hands.

"ha! I won!" she said, her hands thrown in the air and a big grin plastered on her face.

"don't be so happy, I did it on purpose…I was getting bored" he lied to tease her.

"yeah, right…you're just a sore loser" she said, pushing him a little by the shoulder "what do we do now?"

"let's play some cards" he suggested and Rachel loved the idea.

The next three hours flied away unnoticed by them, who only realized how late it was when the room was practically in darkness.

"it's almost 7pm and the guys aren't back…" Ross said, showing a little of preoccupation through his voice. Rachel left the cards on the table and looked at him serious.

"Should we call home and see if they're there?"

"let's wait some more…maybe they are on their way back now…"  
Another hour and a half passed and there was no sight of their friends. They had dinner and then tried calling home but nobody picked up the phone.

"These idiots are getting on me nerves!" Rachel said, biting her nails.

"calm down…" he tried to sound as cool as possible "I'm sure they are fine…they probably lost track of time…they'll be here soon you'll see…"

"you've been saying that the last 2 hours"

"I know…but they are adults they know what they are doing…"

"yeah…"Rachel said tilting her head…"Although…I'll say the only adult there is Monica" Ross chuckled.

"you're right, but Monica can deal with those three kids with just one finger" Rachel nodded knowingly. She stretched herself as her mouth opened widely in a yawn.

"are you tired?"

"kinda…It's been a long day…"

"do you want me to take you to your room?" she thought for a moment, she wanted to spend more time with him, but sleep was taking over her and she knew sooner or later she would fall asleep.

"okay…" she finally said.

He carefully held her in his arms and carried her in silence, wishing she would change her mind, it had been a long day with lots of mood changes but it had been the first day since their break up that they had laughed and talked together without arguments getting in the way.  
Once there he sat her on her bed and helped her place the leg over the bed.

"how is your ankle? do you need another painkiller?" he offered.

"no, it's okay, it's perfect actually, I don't feel a thing…"

"that's great" they fell into silence, once again.

"well…I'm gonna go, if you need anything just ask" Ross said as he stood from the bed.

"wait Ross!" Rachel quickly said. "I wanna talk to you" she added. He didn't know why but those words made him shiver inside, what did she want to tell him?. He saw her slightly tapping the bed as asking for him to sit down.

"what…do you want to talk about?" he asked, nervous running through is body as he sat in front of her. Rachel smiled and looked into his eyes.

"I just wanted to thank you for being so nice to me after all…I didn't deserve even a word from you after the way I treated you and yet you took care of me…and I ended up having a great time with you…so…thank you" she said feeling the words with all her heart. Ross shyly nodded his head.

"I had a great time too…"he softly said, his eyes locked with hers. They got lost into each others eyes and neither could move them away, it was as though they had been hypnotized. Rachel observed how his eyes travelled from her eyes to her lips and a familiar sensation ran through her body. Her heart started racing out of control when he slowly began to lean towards her, his eyes fixed on her lips. His hand rested on her bare knee as he got closer, making her get goose bumps all over her skin with that simple touch of him. The voice inside of her head was yelling for her to pull away immediately, but some strange force kept her still, immobile as if her muscles had suddenly turned into cement and didn't let her move an inch of her body.  
She gulped as her heart beat faster in anticipation of what was going to happen. She already could feel his breath brushing her parted lips; she closed her eyes and waited for his lips to melt upon hers once more.  
...


	4. Chapter 4

"Ross, Rachel! We are back!" They heard Monica shout from downstairs. Rachel suddenly opened her eyes in shock, as if she had just been awaked from a deep dream; her friends' voice had dragged her back to reality and made her realize what almost happened, what they almost did. She looked at the door nervously; feeling embarrassed and wishing her ankle was alright so that she could run away from that room.

"We are up here!" Ross shouted back. Rachel immediately looked at him; he was sitting across her, his head low gazing at his lap and disappointment visibly drawn on his face. Somewhat she felt that same disappointment, but she thanked that her friends had appeared and saved them from making a mistake they would have regretted later and that would have gotten them hurt again. At least that was what she used to convince herself that this was for the better.  
Right then, the door opened and their four friends entered.

"what are….? Oh my god! Honey, what happened?" Monica asked worried when she noticed her bandaged leg. She hurriedly sat on the spot that Ross had left free when they all entered, and rubbed her leg carefully.

"I twisted my ankle when I was skiing…" Monica gave her a serious look.

"see? I told you not to ski today! It was dangerous!" she scolded.

"okay, you were right but WHERE the hell were you all today uh? It was dangerous for you too to be out there with this weather!" she snapped back, leaving Monica with not words to defend herself.

"yeah! Why did you take the car and said nothing?" Ross joined. "What if she had had a worse injure? We couldn't have gone to a hospital!"

"That was very irresponsible of you Monica!" Rachel added, knowing that would hurt her friends.

"hey! Don't blame on me! It was Phoebe's idea!" she said in her defence.

"and what IDEA are we talking about?" Rachel asked accusingly, her hands firmly placed on her waist. Monica turned towards the rest asking for them to say something but they pretended to be looking somewhere else as though the conversation didn't involve them. Monica lowered her face as she quietly murmured.

"none…"

"Monica…" Rachel pronounced her name in that challenging tone that Monica hated.

"okay!" she exclaimed, determined to say it all. But then Phoebe stepped forward and quickly added:

"we wanted to have fun! It was so boring in here so we went to the nearby town! It's that so bad?" Rachel frowned, that was actually a good statement but yet she couldn't buy it.

"okay…but wasn't your main purpose to leave Ross and I alone?" she accused again. Monica let out a nervous chuckle while looking at Phoebe as asking for her to speak.

"no….we just wanted to have fun! That's all, sorry Rach but you're too self-involved…why would we do that knowing you can't stand each other right now? We just wanted to visit the town, we would have asked you to come but neither of you were here!" Rachel lowered her face; maybe she was saying the truth, maybe there wasn't any purpose on their act and it was she who had made all that strategy up.

"why didn't you leave a note then? We were worried that something may have happened to you" Ross added.

"we thought you would figure…you have a Phd Ross" Chandler said jokingly, trying to break the hostile feeling in the room. Ross stared at him and Chandler being Chandler turned around intimidated. The room stayed in silence for a moment until Phoebe, sat next to Rachel on the bed, asked:

"do you need a drive to the hospital?" she said referring to her ankle.

"no it's okay…it doesn't hurt anymore" Rachel began to say, her tone not sounding accusing anymore. "Ross made a great nurse for me" she added, sending him a sweet smile. Monica and Phoebe looked at him as well but Ross soon looked away from her face, feeling his blood accumulating in his cheeks.

"it was nothing…" he softly said "I, I think I'm gonna go to my room….it's late, see you tomorrow" He announced, directing a brief look to Rachel and then leaving the room. Joey and Chandler looked at each other taken aback by his weird act and followed him out the room, leaving the three girls alone.  
They caught him on the way down the stairs.

"Ross wait!, what the hell was that, man?" Chandler asked when he was at the same step as him.

"what was what?" he asked as he continued his way to his couch.

"she smiled at you and you leave? She was SMILING to you! Or have you gone blind?"

"Why did you have to come back!" he suddenly snapped, leaving his friends with priceless dumbfounded expressions.

"what?" said Chandler.

"Why did you have to come back now!" he repeated angrier.

"first you scold us for not leaving a note and now you are mad at us for coming back? Dude you're weird!" Joey said.

"….we almost kissed" Ross said as he aimlessly sat on the couch. Chandler and Joey instantly froze; their eyes and mouth opened in surprise.

"you, you, you what?" Chandler managed to ask as he clumsily sat on the coffee table in front of him. Joey followed his movements.

"we almost kissed…but you ruined it all coming back now!" he said running his hands through his hair in frustration. A smile appeared on Joey's face.

"hey! Our plan worked!" Joey exclaimed as he slapped Chandler's shoulder in excitement. Chandler turned to him and sent him an evil look.

"what plan?" Ross asked. Joey suddenly realized his slip of tongue and nervously tried to fix it.

"uh….actually…mmmh…I was talking about a plan Chandler and I had…which has nothing to do with you and Rachel kissing,.." Chandler rolled his eyes.

"We thought that if you spent some time alone together you would…fix things up. That's why we left….but hey! It worked!" He said moving his hands

"it worked?" Ross said staring at them "your amazing plan cost me a huge fight with Rachel! She thought it had been my idea!"

"but, but you kissed" Joey interrupted.

"no we didn't! thanks to you too!"

"how were we supposed to know! You could have left a note on the door saying 'I'm kissing Rachel, come back later'" Chandler said using his irritated tone. Ross rolled his eyes and plopped himself back on the couch.

"it doesn't matter now, the moment is gone and now I don't know how to act around her…" he said, looking at his entwined hands on his lap.

"don't be sad man, you almost kissed! That's a huge step forward; you couldn't even look at each other yesterday!" Joey added trying to cheer him up.

"yeah, and she was smiling to you! I never thought I would see Rachel smiling to you again! You should be happy!"

"I am…but…I don't know…when she heard your voices I swear I could see relieve in her face, as If she didn't want that kiss to happen…." He said sad. Chandler and Joey shared a look to see who should talk.

"maybe it's not what you think…maybe she was as disappointed as you…you have to talk to her…" Joey said.

"I know…but I'm scared that she may reject me again…"

"do you want us to talk to her?" Joey suggested.

"NO! no, this is between she and I, I'll figure what to do…and please, don't mention anything about the kiss, I don't want anything that could anger her to happen. Okay?" his friends nodded agreed. "thanks…"

"you're welcome man" Chandler said giving him a sympathy slap on the shoulder.

Back in Rachel's room…

"am I wrong or I've just seen you smile to Ross?" Monica asked as soon as the guys closed the door. Rachel nervously cleared her throat and looked at her as if she had just said that pigs can fly.

"you must be seeing things Mon"

"you smiled to him, I saw it too!" Phoebe added with a big smile. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"okay, I did, but it was just a thank-you smile. He has been very nice with me today" She tried to explain but Monica noticed a changed from the Rachel of that morning and wanted to know more.

"did something happen today?" Monica asked full of curiosity.

"yeah, something happened, we had the worst fight this morning thanks to you!" she said, not bothering to hide her anger.

"what?"

"yeah, I thought he had made all this up so we could be alone and we started fighting again"

"Rachel…" Monica said her name helplessly.

"it was horrible…"

"but…you seemed okay just now…" Monica said, confused by what she has just been told.

"that's because I told him I was sorry…"

"stubborn Rachel giving in? Unbelievable!" Phoebe added in a smirk.

"I'm not stubborn!" Rachel tried to defend herself.

"yeah, right…you're not stubborn and Monica is not bossy either" Phoebe said rolling her eyes.

"hey!" Monica exclaimed offended. "Anyway, tell us what happened afterwards" she said turning to Rachel with interest showing in her smile.

"I told you nothing happened…he accepted my apologies, cured my ankle and we played some games…"

"uh games…that can be interesting" Phoebe said grinning; Rachel stared at her.

"Board games Phoebe…" Rachel clarified knowing her friends' dirty mind.

"Those can be interesting too" she said again with her peculiar grin, Rachel shook her head helplessly.

"so you just did that, play games all day long?" Monica intervened, still having doubts.

"well…we also talked about you all" she said, tilting her head with a fake smile on her lips.

"okay, got it…nothing happened then…"

"yup"

"mmmh…I have a feeling you're hiding something from us…" Phoebe said, using her "mystery" voice accompanied by her suspicious gaze. Rachel looked at her as if she was crazy.

"I'm hiding NOTHING okay? And leave me alone, I'm tired!" She exclaimed as she lied back on the bed, letting them know that the conversation was done. Monica and Phoebe looked at each other, annoyed by her edgy behaviour.

"okay…we will leave you alone" Monica said with a bit of resentment. "you know where we are if you want to talk" she added before closing the door.

Rachel sighed as she closed her eyes, she felt bad for not telling her friends about what almost happened, but she still didn't know how she felt about it and she knew for sure that her friends' first question would be 'are you getting back together?' a question that she was scared to even ask it herself since her mind was a tangled ball of confusion and contradictive answers.  
She rolled to her side and tried to forget about it for the night, tomorrow would be another day.

It was 3.00 in the morning and not signs of sleep. Ross rolled and tossed once again, the hundredth time in three hours. Sleep seemed to have run away from him and all that remained was her; he couldn't get her out of his mind; not that it didn't happen every night but right now every time he closed his eyes her face came into view as if she was standing mere centimetres from him; her intense look piercing his own eyes, her sweet mouth looking as desirable as ever…

He opened his eyes again and sighed in frustration as he sat up on "his" couch. He sensed he wouldn't get much sleep that night if she kept reappearing that way. He looked around through the darkness of the living room; the accumulated snow outside reflected the moon light into the room, giving it a beautiful, soft illumination.

Ross stood up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he poured it, he thought of her, wondering if she was sleeping or if she was having his same troubles with Morpheus. He wished it was the second one and any time she would appear in the kitchen to get a glass of water too.  
He leaned the glass against his lips till the transparent liquid ran freely down his throat, producing a refreshing sensation inside of him. Then he left the glass in the sink and stood there, his mind facing a dilemma. A part of him was begging for him to go up there and talk to her, now that everybody was sleeping; while the other part was totally against that idea and wouldn't stop giving reasons not to do so.  
He walked some steps till reach the bottom of the stairs and looked up at the dark corridor. "don't go up there, she won't want to talk to you" "just do it, check if she has your same doubts" his mind kept confusing him with arguments. After some minutes of thinking he started walking up the stairs resolutely. When he reached her room his heart skipped a beat; he could see the light was on through the chink of the door. He breathed deeply to calm his spreading nerves and rose is hand to knock.

A soft tap on the door distracted her from her reading. She looked towards the door and felt nervous all of a sudden thinking it may be him. The door cracked open and his head stuck out.

"Can I come in?" he whispered. Rachel's heart started beating faster in spite of herself, knowing he would want to talk and she didn't have an excuse to avoid it. Rachel nodded her head as she placed the book on the bedside table and watched him close the door and sit on the same spot he had been sitting on some hours before.

"how is your ankle?" he asked after a brief silence.

"fine…as long as I don't place it on the floor it doesn't hurt" Rachel answered adding a small smile.

"you were reading this late?" He asked again, trying to delay the moment as much as possible.

"I couldn't sleep…" she confessed.

"I couldn't either…"

"why?"

"why couldn't you?"

"I asked first" she won. Ross looked down wanting to tell her the real reason but he was too afraid to pronounce those words.

"I don't know…" he said. Rachel observed him, she knew him better to know he was having troubles to turn his thoughts into words.

"yes you do, that's why you are here…" she said looking into his eyes. He felt a warm sensation fill his cheeks.

"how do you know?"

"because I know you Ross…" he looked down again, feeling stupid for having asked that. "why couldn't you sleep?" she asked again. He looked at her, her breath-taking blue eyes staring back at him waiting for an answer. He took a calming breath and proceeded to speak.

"because of you…" he confessed, making her blush now. She didn't expect him to be that direct. "why couldn't you?"

"…because of you" she repeated his words gazing at his hypnotizing eyes and trying to hide her growing nervousness from showing. Her answer made him want to jump in happiness. He coughed nervously as he moved his body to sit closer. A movement that reminded Rachel of what almost happened earlier. She pushed her hands against the mattress to sit better against the headboard in order to maintain the space between them.

"what were you thinking about me…?" he asked, not able to break the eye contact.

"….nothing exactly….just thinking about what a great day today was…" she murmured, not brave enough to say what her actual thoughts were.

"about before…." Ross began after a silence; his voice soft in shyness.

"Ross, nothing happened before…." She said coldly, getting nervous by those two only words and wanting to end that issue as soon as possible.

"but it almost happened! You can't deny that…" he said with a bit of desperation. He didn't want to anger her but he needed to clarify the situation, he couldn't live like that; having a moment and then ignoring it as they had been doing ever since their break up. Rachel bit her lip; his sad eyes were breaking her heart.

"I know…but Ross…it would have been a mistake if we had let it happen…" she said, almost in a whispered, not only trying to convince him but also herself. She got surprised when he suddenly grabbed her hand and brought it to his chest, pressing it gently against it as he locked his eyes with hers; those eyes that told her more than any word could.

"Why? Why would it be a mistake?" he said weakly as he pressed her hand stronger against his chest "Rach…I know you wanted it too….I could see it in your eyes…" His voice cracked as the forming tears started burning his eyes. Rachel pressed her lips tightly to contain her own tears; she couldn't stand watching him break down, there was nothing she hated more in the world, it was almost as if her own heart was being torn apart. She closed her eyes and lowered her face as the first tears escaped through her eyelashes and rolled down her cheeks till fall and leave small wet circles marks on her t-shirt.  
She carefully tried to liberate her hand from his grip but it she was powerless.

"please…." He begged; his voice almost inaudible due to his withheld crying. She pressed her eyes more tightly as she shook her head vaguely, pretending he hadn't just said that. She was so into trying to fade away from that situation that she didn't realize he had dropped her hand and his own had moved now to her face, lifting her head so she would look at him, but she wasn't able to open her eyes, she was afraid to do so and get lost in his eyes once again.  
His warm hands felt amazing against the sensitive skin of her neck and cheeks, and she found herself wishing they would slide and caress her just as he only knew.  
She was going to snapped that thought out of her head when she felt his thumbs moving across her face, erasing with them the wet trace her tears had left; her whole body trembled; how could someone made her feel so much with such a simple act? Her inside voice wondered.  
She slowly opened her eyes and saw him sitting a few centimetres from her, his reddened eyes staring back at her with a begging look on them. She bit her bottom lip, not knowing what to tell him.  
Before she knew it they were lost into each other's eyes again. Air got held in her throat as she noticed him leaning closer and closer towards her, just like earlier that night. Her eyes moved to his lips; they looked so tempting, so appealing…her stomach filled with that common butterfly sensation as she waited for the inevitable to happen.  
She closed her eyes and his lips eventually touched hers; so soft, so magical, so awesome…her mind immediately forgot every little worry that had been bugging her as she sunk into that kiss.  
Their lips didn't move for a moment, just continued pressed against each other, their cheeks touching, their tears mixing, their hearts beating fast within their bodies…

Seeing she hadn't pulled away, he let his hands travel to the back of her neck, tangling up his fingers with her smooth hair as he brought her closer to his lips, getting rid of any minimum patch of air that could exit between their mouths.  
Her body started shivering involuntarily; it had been so long since their lips last joined that it felt overwhelming.  
His lips left the touching to capture her bottom lip and gently suck on it, sending waves of pleasure through her body. Her eyelids trembled, so did her hands as they made their way to his neck, where they remained while their lips slowly started moving in sync, savouring every bit of those kisses they had been prevented of since their break up.  
Her fingers unconsciously pushed him harder against her mouth at the same time that her lips split to welcome his tongue inside her mouth. The second their tongues touched, instant chills ran through both their bodies making them moan in pleasure.  
Her lungs started begging desperately for air as the kiss intensified, but she didn't want that kiss to end, afraid she could go back to reality if she did.  
Having her same problems he moved his lips to her cheek, where he placed sweet little kisses as he listened to her gasping while she licked her lips, savouring the taste he had left on them.  
His hands, which had been behind her neck all this time, drew a sensual trace down her spine till resting on the small of her back and moved her closer to his body.

Rachel breathed deeply; his experienced lips had moved now down to her neck and were sucking softly on the thin-skinned below her ear, just where he knew she liked to be kissed and that drove her crazy with desire. She bit her bottom lip as she tightly grabbed on his T-shirt, she couldn't understand how he was able to turn her on so much with so little. She then threw her head back to enjoy the wonderful movements of his tongue around her neck. At the same time, his hands started playing with the hem of her T-shirt until they timidly climbed under it and began stroking the bare skin of her back, causing pleasant tickles that ran up and down her spine. It was almost too much to take, so many feelings collapsing together that were driving her out of her mind.  
She couldn't believe that was actually happening, she even thought it was all part of a dream, but it felt so real…so amazing.  
Her head started spinning as his lips went back to her mouth and kissed her passionately.

But out of blue, her mind filled with blurred images that distracted her. She frowned, her eyes still closed as those images got clearer, and suddenly she realized, it was him; he touching another woman's body, he kissing another woman's lips. And then, memories of that day: the day they broke up, woke her up.  
A sickening sensation climbed up her throat as she thought of that woman, the woman that had jeopardized their relationship, and her life: Chloe.  
She quickly pulled away from the kiss and turned her head to a side as tears appeared in her eyes again, leaving Ross rather worried.

"what?" Ross asked softly, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"I can't Ross, I'm sorry…" she whispered as she slowly grabbed his arms and pulled them off her body, she lowered her face as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"yes you can Rach…." he desperately said, placing his hands back on both sides of her face to make her look straight into his eyes. "I love you…" he confessed; his voice cracking in a whisper. Rachel shook her head with her eyes closed, trying to avoid his heartbreaking look. She felt his lips on hers again; and she let him kiss them while her rivers of tears soaked their faces. She wanted to forget it, forget that image for a moment and not hurt him again with her rejection, but the image of him making love to another woman wouldn't leave her mind alone.

"please Ross…don't" she begged against his lips, her eyes squeezed due to the pain she was feeling inside her chest.

"please Rach…I know you love me too….I could feel it…" he whispered into her mouth, his eyes getting blurred with tears too. Rachel slowly pulled away from his lips as she grabbed his hands and placed them on his lap, not able to take it anymore.

"I'm sorry…" she murmured watching how he broke apart. He lowered his face as he brushed his tears off.

"I'm so stupid…" he said as he buried his face in between his arms, feeling down. That image of him broke her heart.

"you're not stupid Ross, it's me…I can't forget what you did…I've tried, but I can't…" she confessed between tears. "I really wish I could…everything would be much easier, but it keeps coming back as a nightmare!" she exclaimed frustrated as she brought her hands to her hair.  
She observed him carefully; he hadn't moved in a while and his sad eyes were fixed on the floor. She placed a hand on his back, wanting to erase his pain away but almost immediately he stood up, getting away from her touch, and walked towards the door.

"I, I need to go" he said but Rachel quickly stopped him.

"no Ross wait!" he stopped, his hand grabbing the knot and his head low waiting for her to speak. "please, stay…." She begged. "I miss you…"


	5. Chapter 5

"no Ross wait!" he stopped, his hand grabbing the knot and his head low waiting for her to speak. "please, stay…." She begged. "I miss you…" the words escaped her mouth effortlessly, right out from the bottom of her heart. True was that she couldn't get involved with him as they used to, but that sensation of something being missed accompanied her whenever he wasn't around; it was like an arm or another vital part of her body was missing if he wasn't by her side.

"I don't get you Rachel" he said as he turned around to look at her, his voice sounding bitter. "how can you say you miss me right after pushing me away!" he felt frustrated, confused, even worse than that, he couldn't put into words that unbearable disturbance he was feeling inside. "are you playing with me? That's your way of getting back at me for what I did, Rach?" he accused, not bothering to hide his deep resentfulness.  
Rachel gulped the increasing lump that was blocking her throat. She attempted to seek for the words that better could express her hard situation but his words had left her astonished, and even more knowing Ross didn't say anything in vein. "because if that's what you're doing then you can save it! It's hard enough the pain of knowing this is all my fault!" he admitted, his resent showing in his cold stare. Rachel wanted to explain him that that wasn't her intention, not even close, but his cutting attitude and sincere confessions had frozen her blood and her will altogether.  
She felt observed by his saddened eyes; he was waiting for her to say something, but nothing came out of her lips. "I need to go…" he murmured again as he grabbed the knob and left, this time Rachel didn't stop him.

Time passed and she remained in that tense position he had left her in with his words, which hadn't stopped replaying in her head since the moment he closed that door. She couldn't believe he actually thought she was playing with him, faking it all just to make him suffer. Did he really think she was that insensitive? That their situation didn't affect her too?. She wanted to cry, yell, punch a wall, whatever that could liberate her from that frustration that was suffocating her.  
She took a deep breath, in an attempt to regain some sanity. She HAD to do something, if she left things the way they were she would be proving him he was right and she couldn't accept that. She had to talk to him at whatever cost, even if that meant having to get her ankle twisted again, she had to do it.  
She sat on the bed, determined to go and talk to him. She carefully placed her healthy foot on the floor and with the help of the bedside table she lifted herself up, then, she bended her knee so her ankle wouldn't brush the floor and started giving little hops towards the door.  
The stairs were a trickier business though, but slowly and with caution she managed to descend them without further problems.  
Her heart immediately started racing wildly when her feet touched the floor of that living room which had become his bedroom for the weekend. She looked around in the darkness of the place but she couldn't spot him.

"Ross?" she whispered, but got no answer.  
She eventually found a switch and the room illuminated instantly.  
Her heart suddenly stopped when her eyes found the couch completely empty. She felt her soul sinking down to the floor at the thought of him not being there. Had he left to the city? No way, he wouldn't do that, would he? Rachel nervously questioned herself. She was starting to freak out when she noticed the front door was slightly open. She let a small puff of air out. Her lungs seemed to be getting smaller and smaller as she got closer to door, making it difficult the entrance of air. She slowly pushed the door open and almost immediately a freezing cold breeze made her body shiver, since all she had on was a pair of shorts and a baggy T-shirt.  
It could perfectly be under 32ºF outside but she wasn't going to go back to get a jacket, she had to find him before he could go anywhere.  
She didn't have to walk long to locate him. He was at the end of the porch sitting on the small steps. She analyzed his figure from the distance; his back was curved forward, his head hidden between his hands while his feet were buried in the cold snow; however, he seemed completely indifferent to the coldness of it.  
She breathed intensely as she made her way to him, her own hands rubbing up and down her arms in an attempt to heat them up a little bit.  
She stopped just some centimetres away from him; she knew he had heard her from the movement of his head, but he didn't turn or said anything.  
She walked the last centimetres that separated them and sat right next to him; if she was cold before the humid wood of the steps didn't help to warm up, but she tried to forget the cold and concentrate on how to begin.  
Ross briefly looked at her before directing his look to the dark forest in front of them.

"What are you doing here….you're going to freeze" he said, his voice sounding calmer than minutes ago. She looked at him but he didn't look back, which let her know he was still hurt.

"I don't care…" she murmured trying to control the shaking of her own body.

"you're gonna catch a cold if you stay out here longer" Rachel shook her head no.

"go back inside, don't be stubborn!" Ross ordered knowing how cold she must be feeling. Even him that was wearing a thick jacket could still feel the chilling breeze.

"Not till I speak to you…" she stated. Ross rolled his eyes and finally turned to look at her. "Ross I wasn't playing with you okay?" she directly said. "How can you even think that? I'm not that heartless!" she snapped.  
She waited for him to say something but he remained quiet and he had turned his gaze back to the front, with a tense frown wrinkling his face.  
"do you think this situation doesn't hurt me too?" she said, her voice rising a little. "because it does! You can't imagine how much I hate all this!" she blurted out, almost in the verge of tears, and moving her hands in desperation. That day had been filled with so many events and all kind of emotions that it had become impossible for her to hold the tears for long."listen…" she whispered as she passed her hand under his arm and pulled of it a little to make him look at her; he did.  
Even though there was no more light but the one reflected by the moon, she could still perceive his sadness, something that made her heart shrink in pain. "I love you…." She confessed "I do, but I can't go back with you…not right now…" she whispered, her voice fading out as tears began to compress her throat. "I don't want to hurt you…"

"Hurt me, Rach?" he finally spoke. "Do you think you are not hurting me with this?" his voice cracked, Rachel bit her lip trying not to lose it.

"don't say that please…" she begged " I'm trying to do the best thing for both…what if we go back together now but I keep snapping at you like before? I can't help it and you would end up hating me…" she stopped to take a long breath "I need time to get over it…" she stated. "Can we stay friends…for a while?" she carefully asked.  
Ross shrugged his shoulders resigned, but couldn't help getting tears in his eyes, the same that ran down his face right away.  
"oh god, Ross, please don't cry…" Rachel begged, but he made her lose it and her tears escaped her eyes too. Her bottom lip, which had turned purple due to the cold, started trembling.

"go back there Rach, you're shivering" he said looking away from her and trying to control his tears.

"no I'm not" she lied. But in fact, her hands had swelled up from the cold and she couldn't feel them anymore, while her whole body was trembling frantically. But she didn't want to leave him like that.

"Rach…." He said her name with a scolding tone.

"I'm not going back there unless you come with me…" she stated, brushing her tears with the back of her hands.

"I want to stay here…" he stated.

"then I'll stay too"

"Why?" Ross exclaimed with a bit of desperation.

"I don't want you to be upset because of me…"

"I can't pretend this doesn't affect me Rach…"

"I don't like this either Ross! But I'm just asking for time…I'm not telling you I don't wanna see you, because I couldn't stand that…"

"then what do you want? For me to pretend nothing ever happened between us? That I don't love you and we never were together?" his words sounded so painful that they made her shiver even more that the coldness itself.

"I…I don't know okay! I'm confused! I just want time….they say time cures everything, don't they?" she tried to reason her decision. "The only thing I don't want is us fighting all the time as we have been doing up to today…'cause even though it looked like I didn't care I did! I hate fighting with you Ross…" she confessed, directing her look towards him, expecting another reproach from him but his mouth remained sealed. She sighed deeply to control her shivers. Seeing he wasn't going to say anything she spoke again. "so…will you try?" she asked expectant as well as a little scared. Ross lifted his head and looked ahead, trying to find some kind of power that could help him sound determined, since he had no other option but accept her decision.

"okay…" he murmured a little later, not able to say more. He turned his look towards her and faked a small smile. Rachel smiled back at him, feeling relieve that he had accepted. However, her lips couldn't stay firm and her jaw was visibly shaking as well as the rest of her body, which got Ross worried. "now, go inside, you're gonna get sick" he demanded concerned.

"will you come with me?" she asked, with that sweet look in her eyes that he had never been able to resist.

"…okay…" he said in a sigh as he slowly stood up and offered her his hand to help her stand up, but with many troubles since her body was all numb due to the coldness. "let me help you…" he murmured as he didn't wait for her answer to take her in his arms and walk back to the cabin. Once in her bedroom he helped her sit on the bed.

"you should take a hot shower, you're shivering excessively…" he said more concerned after perceiving her purpled lips in the light of her room.

"it's okay…it'll stop soon" she said with a sure smile as she threw all the covers over her body and shivering she curled up under them.

"okay…then, I'll see you in some hours…" he stated as he tapped his thighs and he slowly turned around to leave but Rachel quickly stopped him; once again.

"Ross" she called his name, he twisted his neck to look at her. "thank you" Rachel murmured with the most sincere smile; she had wanted to tell him more than that, even the thought of asking him to stay with her there had crossed her mind but she knew that would have never happened. Ross slightly nodded his head in an accepting way and then left the room.

….

"it's sunny outside! we can ski today, right?" Joey exclaimed excited as he returned to the table.

"yes Joe" Chandler said rolling is eyes annoyed by his childlike behaviour.  
Ross squeezed his eyes several times before opening them up and sitting up on the couch; the loud noises his friends were making in the kitchen had woken him up.

"Sleeping beauty just woke up!" Chandler exclaimed right away motioning his hands towards him.

"wow, did you sleep at all? You look awful!" Joey said, observing him from head to toes; his eyes had grey rings under them and his hair was all messed up from the many rolls and tosses he had made that night. Ross simply sent his friend a stare as he aimlessly joined them on the table. he grabbed a cup and poured himself the already made coffee. The rest of them looked at each other confused.

"are you still mad?" Joey carefully asked.

"no Joey, I just didn't get much sleep…" Ross said kind of annoyed. Just then Rachel appeared in the room interrupting their conversation and walking slowly towards them. Forgetting his own food, Ross quickly stood up from his chair and ran to help her.

"what the hell are you doing! Your ankle isn't alright yet" Ross scolded her when he reached her and grabbed her by her waist to help her walk. Their four friends fell into silence as they observed the scene astonished; the fact that Rachel hadn't pulled away from him or hadn't yelled at him seemed very new for them.

"Thanks" she said with a small smile, her voice sounding rather hoarse.

"what happened to your voice?" Joey asked curious. Ross kindly helped her sit on the free chair next to Monica and went back to his own chair.

"I, I think I have caught a cold" Rachel managed to say, but the effort made her gorge ache and she had to bring a hand to her neck.

"it must be something else…you look terrible…" Monica said frowning.

"yeah, you look even worse than Ross" Phoebe added pulling a face.

"thank you" Ross told her with irony.

"nuh, really, I'm okay…" Rachel lied; she didn't want to worry Monica knowing perfectly how easily she could freak out.

"Rachel, you look as if a truck had ran over you" Monica exaggerated, but indeed Rachel didn't look like herself: her eyes seemed smaller owing to how swell they were, her nose was so congested that she had to breathe through her mouth, that when she wasn't coughing, and her face had gotten a strange yellowish colour.

Monica placed the back of her hand on her forehead to feel her temperature and had to move it off right away "Rach, you're burning!" she said alarmed, Ross lifted his gaze and look at her worried, mainly because he was aware of how badly she was shivering the night before. "did you sleep out on the snow or what?" Monica said not knowing she was almost right. Rachel caught a glimpse of Ross' eyes before answering; time enough to perceive is preoccupation.

"I may have left the window open…I guess…"

"I think you should go to the hospital, you look awful…and while you're at it they can check your ankle"

"that means we aren't skiing today either?" Joey said pouting.

"yes Joey, you can ski today…I'll just take a pill and go back to bed…don't worry about me."

"you sure?" Monica asked, her eyebrow rose in sign of doubt. Rachel nodded with a small smile and took a sip of the coffee.

"do you want my beagle Rach? I won't finish it…" Phoebe said.

"thanks Phoebe, but I can't get anything through my throat…Joey'll probably want it" Phoebe turned to Joey, who was looking at her beagle with desire eyes.

"do you want it Joe?" Phoebe teased him, who sent her a killing stare.

"Give it to him right now! Otherwise we all will die drowning in his drools" Chandler said making a disgusted face.

After a quick breakfast, Rachel went back to her room with the help of Monica and Phoebe. Meanwhile, the guys stayed in the kitchen finishing their meal. Chandler and Joey were loudly discussing about a Knicks game that had taken place that weekend, but Ross remained quiet on his seat, mechanically moving his spoon inside his cup while his eyes were fixed in the hypnotizing movement of the coffee.

"hey man!" Chandler tried to get his attention but had no luck "earth calling fossil freak, earth calling fossil freak…." he pretended to be in a spaceship but his new method didn't distract Ross from his coffee and he was starting to get annoyed and so was Joey.

"Good Lord ROSS! Are you here?" Joey raised his voice as he waved his hand before his eyes, which finally got Ross out of his trance.

"uh?" muttered Ross, a little disoriented. Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Are you okay man? You seem…out of here." his friends asked.

"yeah…I'm, okay" was his answer but his facial expression told them otherwise. Chandler was going to ask him again but Monica and Phoebe appeared in the room.

"guys, I think someone should stay here with Rachel…she says she is fine but I'm a little worried…" the rest nodded in agreement.

"How do we decide who stays?" Chandler asked.

"stone, paper and scissors?" Joey suggested as if it was the smartest idea.

"very mature Joe…" Chandler said ironically.

"I'll stay" offered Phoebe "I don't really like skiing anyway…." she said shrugging.

"okay then…"

"no Pheebs, go with them…I'll stay" Ross intervened. Everyone in the room looked at him bewildered.

"Are you sure?" his sister asked not very positive about his decision.

"yes…I had to stay anyway, I don't have skies or proper clothes…" Ross tried to make his friends believe that that was the real reason he was staying and not his own desire to take care of Rachel.

"but what if she doesn't want you here?"

"well…she'll have to cope with it" He just said, leaving them more confused.

"okay, let's go!" Joey exclaimed jumping from his seat with and smile of pure excitement plastered on his face. Monica looked at her brother with compassion as she placed her hand over his.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"yes Monica, don't worry anymore okay?"

"okay, see you at lunch." she said as she kissed his cheek sweetly and walked towards her room to get ready.

"Bye!" his friends said at unison as he observed them disappear behind the front door of the cabin. He let a deep sigh escape his mouth as he plopped on the couch. He rested his head on the top of the couch and stared at the ceiling for a while. He was alone with Rachel, once again. True was that they were in different rooms, but just the fact of being alone with her in the same place made his nervous surface to his skin.  
He bit his bottom lip; he was eager to go see how she was; he was really worried after seeing her and even more knowing it had been him who had kept her out in the freezing coldness of the night.  
He closed his eyes and laid down on his "bed", he would stay there for a while, thinking what to do. But all his mind could think of was he and Rachel spending the day alone together again, just one thing was different: he would have to act like her friend and not the man that was madly in love with her.  
...


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Ross looked at his watch hopeful: 10.03, just fifteen minutes had passed since he last looked at it. He dropped his arm helplessly on his side and sighed; had time decreased its standard speed? Or was actually his watch which was running out of batteries? Ross wondered as he sat up back on the couch.  
He looked around the room for some distraction, something that could make time pass quicker but it looked exactly as boring as the day before, with nothing but regular furniture around, no shelves full of books, no tv…he stood up and walked towards the chest of drawers where he had found the board games the day before, maybe he could find something interesting in there. But that didn't happen, just the games and some small porcelain figures filled the five drawers of that piece of furniture; a puff of air exited his mouth, signal of his increasing boredom.  
Realizing he hadn't taken a shower ever since they had arrived to that cabin and was starting to feel uncomfortable he decided to take it; it wasn't the most amusing thing to do but at least he would be busy for some time.  
He looked at his own clothes and then his eyes travelled to the stairs. He would have to go to Chandler's bedroom to get some items of clothes since he had nothing else to wear.

He walked to the first floor and stopped when he reached her bedroom…the mere fact of her being on the other side of that wooden door produced an unease sensation in his body. His eyes fixed on the knob as he felt a sudden urge to open that door and ask her how she was; her bad look earlier had left him very worried. His hand slowly moved to the knob and wrapped around it. But as quick as that urge had come over him another one erased that idea off his mind, it was still too soon…plus, she was probably sleeping and he wouldn't have liked to wake her up. He moved away from that door and paced towards Joey's and Chandler's bedroom, where he entered to borrow some of his clothes and then got into the main bathroom.

...  
One hour. One entire hour had Ross spent in that bath, whose water had already gone cold, but he didn't feel like getting out just yet.  
Generally, he'd rather have showers instead of baths, but today he went for the bath, since it would give him more time to think and relax. But much to his frustration, it didn't work out the way he hoped, and his mind kept wandering to the same person that occupied his mind eighty per cent of the time ever since he was a young man.  
In those sixty minutes he had had time to remember the most wonderful moments they had shared together: their first real kiss, outside Central Perk, rain drops soaking their bodies…he could recall every single detail of that day without any effort. Then the day of their first date popped in too; he chuckled at the thought of her bursting into laughter when his hands reached her butt; it had felt like being with a teenager instead of a 24 years old woman. But she looked so adorable, so sweet…And then the night at the museum, their first time together…his best first time ever and another night he could remember as if it had happened moments ago. He could still see the firm look on her eyes telling him she wanted him; he still could feel her hands running sensually through his hair and her kisses making every part of his body tremble in pleasure. It had been so good, so incredible.

But not just good moments filled his mind. Even though he had tried thousands of times to erase that night from his head he couldn't. Her heart-broken look had stuck into his memory as a pin stuck into an apple, impossible to remove. He would have given his life not to see that look on her face, but he had been responsible of it, which made things ten times worse. A wave of deep sadness came over him after that memory; how could he have done that? That question asked by Rachel had been in his own head from the moment he woke up and heard the voice of the "evil" and while he had tried to justify it by saying they "were on a break" when it happened, he still felt he had cheated on her and that feeling killed him beyond known.

He tried to think for a reason that had led him to do that, because he was definitely NOT a cheater, and would have never done that especially to the love of his life. Maybe someone drugged him? Yeah, someone called Chloe could have slipped a pill into his beer without him noticing so he would sleep with her!  
Of course no, that wasn't true and he knew it, and it was pointless to even try to find an excuse; everything was done and there was no way to fix it now, even if he wished it with all his heart.

Just one thing brought him a little hope: she hadn't rejected him completely. She had talked to him and even laughed with him, something that was unthinkable up until then. Before then all she had done was yell at him, snap at him or remind him his biggest regret in life. But now she was sweet again, making it even more difficult to follow her decision of just being friends. But he had to wait, he had to wait all the time she needed if he wanted her back. And he certainly did

….  
Ross held the mug with hot milk and honey firmly on his hand while he softly knocked on the door with the other.

No answer.

He carefully twisted the knob and crept into the room. He immediately spotted her sleeping figure under the heavy covers. He placed the mug on the bedside table and as unnoticeable as possible he sat on the bed next to her. Ross observed her for a moment; she was lying on her side, her head resting over her own hands and her hair spread all over her face. With his fingers, he cautiously pushed the disturbing hair off her face. As if she had noticed the movement she took a deep breath at the same time her eyes squeezed a little, which caused a great amount of air catching in his throat thinking he might have woken her up, but luckily it had been a false alarm. Seeing she was in deep sleep he decided to come back later. Before leaving, his eyes remained fixed on her for some more minutes, unable to move them from her angelical face, she looked so beautiful, he thought. He then leaned forward and tenderly kissed her forehead; his eyebrows wrinkled into a frown and his lips on her forehead were instantly replaced by his hand. He was right, she was worryingly burning.

"Rachel, hon…Rach" Ross repeatedly said her name as he shook her shoulder. After some tries she opened her eyes lazily.

"what?" she said sleepy and almost voiceless.

"are you okay? I think you have fever…" he said worried, placing his hand on her forehead again. She was about to reply but her dry gorge made her cough.

"I think now we really need to get you to a hospital" Ross said serious as he helped her sit on the bed.

"no, really, I'm okay…it'll go away…" she said hoarsely.

"how do you know? It may be something serious Rach," Rachel shrugged; she didn't care, she just knew she wanted to sleep, all day long. Before she could say anything she started to cough frantically again. "See? You're not okay! Here, drink this…it'll clear your throat" he said while handing her the mug with hot milk and honey he had prepared. "I'm gonna pick you some clothes and we are going to the hospital right now" Ross stated as he stood up from the bed and dug his hands on her suitcase. Rachel wanted to protest but the lack of energy in her body didn't allow it so she just grabbed the mug and drank the warm liquid, which felt amazing running down her dry throat. She laid back on the bed and closed her eyes, her eyelids felt heavier than normal and she wasn't able to keep them open for long.

When her eyes opened again she found herself in the front seat of Phoebe's cab and the road ahead of them. She frowned wondering how she had gotten in there, but soon that question was replaced by another when she noticed she was wearing her long sweatpants and a blanket around her body.

"did you…change my pants?" Rachel asked shyly turning her gaze towards him.

"I, I...you had fallen asleep again…" Ross justified flustered, his cheeks getting a reddish shade. His shyness put a small smile on her face but she couldn't help but blush too, knowing he had seen her in her underwear and she wasn't even conscious when it happened.

"Where are we?" Rachel asked, but immediately her hands flew to her neck and started stroking it; the efforts she was making to speak produced a sharp ache in her throat that made her wince.

"shh, don't talk, we are close. Sleep some more I'll wake you up when we get there" Ross said thoughtfully; Rachel thanked his consideration with a smile and clutched on the blanked as she sat more comfortably on the seat and let sleep take her over again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"guys! We are back!" Joey yelled from the door, finding the living room completely empty.

"where is Ross?" Phoebe asked to no one in particular.

"he must be with Rachel…." Monica said not very convinced by her own answer. She went ahead of the rest towards the first floor in seek of her friend and her brother. When she appeared back in the living room she was wearing a shocked expression.

"they are not here!" she said alerted.

"what?" Chandler asked.

"they are NOT in the cabin! Rachel's room is empty." Joey began giggling at this, which left the rest of his friends bewildered.

"what did you understand this time?" Chandler asked him rolling his eyes, thinking he was laughing due to his usual misleading of vocabulary.

"nothing, it's just they have done what we did yesterday!"

"what do you mean?" Phoebe asked shaking her head.

"you know, we left them here alone, and now they have done the same to us, the cab wasn't in the driveway" Joey said motioning his hands towards the door and grinning.

"this is not funny Joey! Something serious must have happened if they are not here!"

"calm down Mon" Chandler said placing and arm over her shoulders. "They would have left a note if something had happened, don't you think?…" Monica tilted her head. "maybe Joey is right and they have done this to get back at us… " Monica sent him a stare.

"we are talking about Ross and Rachel here! Do you really think they would do that when they practically can't stand each other?"

"but they are getting along now, they almost kissed yesterday!" Joey said with a grin.

"they WHAT?" Phoebe and Monica exclaimed at the same time. Joey's eyes opened widely. "They almost kissed?" Monica said in disbelief.

"congrants man! You did it again!" Chandler exclaimed with irony as he slapped him on his back.

"I thought you knew…" Joey said shyly.

"no, we didn't! Rachel didn't tell us anything"

"I knew she was hiding something! She was acting really weird yesterday!" said Phoebe.

"Joey you gotta tell us everything!" Monica asked grabbing on his arm. Joey looked at Chandler as if asking for an advice.

"tell them…you have already blown it away anyway…" Chandler said in a sigh.

"okay I'll tell you, but promise you won't tell Rachel, we promised Ross we wouldn't say anything…"

"done! Now spill out!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"how is she, doctor? And her ankle? She twisted it yesterday" Ross asked, once the doctor had given her a proper check, eager to know what she had.

"well, she has the flu and her ankle is a little sprained but she'll be alright. I'm going to change the bandage now" Ross nodded and looked at Rachel who was sitting on the stretcher and looking back at him with tired eyes but a gratitude smile on her lips while the doctor proceeded to change her bandage.

"okay, Miss Greene, you have to take this antiviral every eight hours during the next 4 days. They are quite strong so you may feel sleepy after taking it, but it's normal. If you don't notice any change or if it has an abnormal effect on you please come back and we'll change the treatment." The Doctor informed her as he gave her the little box. "As for the ankle, try not to put any pressure on it and it should be alright in a week."

"thank you doctor" Rachel said in a murmur so her throat wouldn't ache

"you're welcome, try to rest as much as possible and you'll feel well within 2 days" he said with a sincere smile. Rachel smiled back and nodded.  
After thanking the doctor once again they both left the room.

It was nearly 4pm when they arrived back at the cabin.  
Rachel had spent the whole ride back sleeping and, not wanting to disturb her sleep, he decided to pick her up and carry her to her bedroom. He slowly lifted her up; her arms unconsciously wrapped around his neck and her head rested on his shoulder, so close to his neck that he could feel her breathing brushing against his skin there; a simple contact and yet enough to send chills through his body that almost drove him out of mind. He quietly thanked she was sleeping and wouldn't notice how vulnerable he was towards her.  
When he crossed the front door of the cabin his sister Monica jumped from the couch where they all were sitting and walked towards him.

"Where the hell have you been!" she exclaimed half-worried half-angry.

"shhhh" Ross quickly shushed her before her annoying, angry voice could wake Rachel up. Monica finally noticed Rachel was sleeping on his arms and became worried. They rest of the pals gathered around him as well.

"is she okay?" Phoebe asked concerned.

"yes, don't worry" he said calmly. "I just took her to the hospital because her fever was quite high…"

"but it's nothing serious, is it?" Monica asked worried.

"No, she is fine, she has the flu, that's all" Monica brought a hand to her chest and sighed in relief. "now, let me carry her to her bedroom and I'll be right back."

…..  
"brother, you're such a gentleman!" Monica complimented him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest in a grateful gesture.

"I just did what I had to do…" he shyly said. His friends peered at him with compassion showing in their eyes; it was so clear that he was still very deep in love with her and he suffered with whatever that happened to her.

"anyway,…now that we are all together…let's decide when should we go back to the city" Chandler broke the awkward silence.

"mmh…How about after dinner?" Monica suggested shrugging her shoulders. Phoebe pulled a face.

"I'd rather we left early in the morning. I sure won't feel like driving tonight…" she said.

"guys?" Monica asked for their opinion.

"I agree with Phoebe, we should rest before getting into the car"

"yeah, it's not safe to drive while tired…" Chandler added.

"Ross, is that okay with you?" Ross shrugged his shoulders as saying he didn't care. "okay then…six a.m. sounds fine?" they all nodded in agreement. "Great, let's go back to the skiing then, we still have that race unresolved!" she said as walking decidedly towards the door. Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Monica, we have made it clear we won't be competing with you!" Chandler exclaimed in exasperation.

"C'mon! don't be such a chickens! I'll give you 50 dollars if you beat me" she challenged them as they exited the cabin; Ross couldn't help but chuckle at his sister's persistence; she hadn't changed a bit.

He looked around the room and sighed, once again he had been left alone, with no one to talk to and yearning to go upstairs, lay beside her, and look after her until she got better; but he couldn't do that, no if they were just friends.

:::::::::::::::::

Ross placed the plate full with hot soup on the tray and picked it up from the table. Almost instantly his body filled with nervousness; she had spent the whole evening sleeping, which he thanked, but now he had to see her again since all his friends had gone straight to bed after dinner due to their exhaustion.  
He pushed the door open and a sweet smile from her greeted him.

"hey!" Rachel said, her voice still husky but much better than that morning. Ross smiled but immediately frowned when he heard Rachel laugh.

"what?"

"are those Chandler's clothes you are wearing?" she asked between giggles. Ross blushed embarrassed; it was very obvious that those weren't his clothes; the sleeves of the T-shirt were too short and didn't reach his wrists and the same problem occurred with the trousers, which also were a little too tight for his taste.

"hey don't laugh at me! I came here without clothes you know?"

"okay, I won't laugh, sorry" she said as she tried to control her laughter.

"are you feeling better?" Ross asked as he placed the tray on the bedside table to help her sit up.

"yes, my head doesn't ache anymore and my voice is back…but I'm starving!" she exclaimed looking at the tray he had prepared with glittering eyes. Ross chuckled and placed the tray over her lap.

"thanks" she whispered as she grabbed the spoon.

"I'd have prepared something else but the doctor recommended bland diet so…"

"it's okay Ross" she said with a sweet smile as she started to eat the soup. Her eyes kept going back to him between spoons, locking gazes with him but no words were shared for some minutes.

"You should step away from me if you don't want to get my flu" Rachel said to break the long silence.

"I don't care; it was my fault that you got sick. I deserve it" Rachel's heart melt right away.

"it wasn't your fault Ross, It was my decision to stay out there"

"but I should have lent you my jacket at least…I just, wasn't thinking" He said feeling regretful. Rachel bit her lip and placed her hand over his.

"Ross, I'm not dying, I have a simple flu okay? Don't be so hard on yourself…" she told him with affection.

"I know I'm sorry…I'm just worried about you, I don't want anything happening to you…" he wasn't expecting to say that, the confession simply left his mouth as if he wasn't able to control his own words. He felt a warm sensation fill his cheeks instantly, and the fact that Rachel had remained quiet made it even more awkward. Rachel cleared her throat and immediately tried to get rid of the uncomfortable situation by changing the subject.

"Where are the guys?"

"…Sleeping…apparently Monica had them taking competitions all day and they were exhausted" Rachel chuckled.

"That's the one thing that makes the ankle-twisting all worth it" Rachel joked and they both shared a soft laugh.

"Are you finished?" Ross asked when the laughter stopped.

"yes"

"here take the antiviral, it's been 8 hours already" Rachel obeyed right away and swallowed the pill with a swig of water.

"thank you so much for the meal, it was delicious" she said with a sweet smile. "and thanks for taking me to the hospital too" She added, she was truly touched that he was so concern about her.

"you're welcome…" he softly said keeping his eyes on her until the longing to wrap her in his arms emerged within himself "I- I'll take the tray to the kitchen" he stated as grabbing the object, before the feeling could become heavier.

"will you come back? I'm so bored being here alone …" she said curling her lips into a sad expression. He stood there, taking inside her question and trying to figure out an answer. He couldn't deny he wanted to do so, but the more time he spent with her the more difficult it became for him to keep his feelings locked inside. On the other hand, it was practically impossible for him to say no to her.

"okay, I'll be right back"

"thanks" she said with a smile.

…..  
"He actually did that?" Rachel exclaimed not able to control her laughter.

"shhh you are gonna wake up the guys!" Ross warned her trying to keep his own laughter down too. Rachel brought her hands to her mouth to lower the noise; however, she couldn't help but go on giggling. "I can't believe what you are saying; did Chandler actually sleep with a 40 year old maid in college?" she repeated in disbelief. Her eyes widened as she tried to imagine the situation.

"yup he hit it up with a 40 year old maid, and not only that, she was fat as a cow!" Rachel burst into giggles again.

"oh my god, I can not believe this is Chandler we are talking about! He dumped women just for the size of their head for god's sake! How come did he end up hooking up with a fat 40 years old maid?"

"I told you, we came back from a party early in the morning and he was very wasted, Ruth was there cleaning our room and he thought she was Pamela, the girl he had a crush on…you can figure the rest" Rachel started laughing at the story again.

They had been like that, laughing and talking, for almost two hours. Since he had come back to her room it seemed as if they had gone three years back in time, to the time when they were good friends, sharing anecdotes and having fun.

"And he started doing it right there in front of you?" Rachel asked, her eyes widened in surprise.

"oh no! I left the room when things started to heat up" he said with a sickened expression.

"god Ross, why didn't you stop him?" she said in a smirk.

"you think I didn't try? But he wouldn't listen to me, he was so drunk he could have mistaken me with Pamela" he explained.

"well, you should feel blessed that didn't happen" again they shared an amused laugh. "why do you laugh so hard anyway? You did it with the library woman and you don't even have the excuse of being drunk, oh! and she was 60!" Rachel mocked him. Ross' face went white instantly as his laughter faded completely.

"how- how- how do you know that?" his dumbfounded expression was priceless and Rachel couldn't help but laugh.

"I saw you two making out behind the counter in the library" she confessed biting her lip.

"that- that- I- you didn't tell anybody, did you?" he asked still shocked by Rachel's confession. Rachel twisted her mouth for second, if he knew the truth…he would want to kill her, and she didn't want to start an argument now.

"no, of course not!" Ross sighed in satisfaction.

"Please, promise me you won't tell anybody, it's embarrassing enough the fact that I did it" a chuckle almost left Rachel's mouth but she managed to control it.

"I promise, but you've GOT to explain this to me, what the hell led you to have sex with a sixty years old lady?" her exclamation was accompanied by a disgusted frown.

"hey! she was very nice with me…and a very attractive woman for her age…" he said defensively. "she told me I was very cute and-"

"oh god" Rachel couldn't contain herself anymore and burst into giggles. Ross sent her a killing stare. "I'm sorry, I just can't believe you did it consciously"

"Stop making fun of me! She was an amazing woman and for your information she had a great body"

"Ross, she was sixty, six-ty" she said laughing again.

"enough already!" he said a bit bothered.

"okay, okay, I'll stop, I'm sorry, It isn't funny" she said afraid Ross' stare wasn't fake any longer. She pressed her lips tightly so she wouldn't laugh but she was having troubles achieving it. Ross' mood softened as her efforts not to laugh made him smile.

"okay, I'm a loser, you can laugh it out…" he sweetly said while Rachel let out the chuckle she had been holding. "but don't you ever mention this again!" he warned pointing at her challengingly.

"won't do, I promise" she said firmly as she smiled amused.

"anyway…" he said a little after. "I think I should be going, it's almost midnight and we are leaving at six…" Although his true desire was to stay there with her, and even more after the amazing two hours they had spent talking and laughing.

"okay…"she said a little saddened. She didn't want him to leave; she had felt so great in his company that she had even forgotten she was sick.  
Despite his words, he didn't move from his place nor said anything else, they just remained in their position looking into each other's eyes and expecting the other to say what they both really wanted.

"then…I'll see you in the morning" he softly said as he stood up from her bed, but almost immediately Rachel's hands closed around his wrist and stopped him from moving.

"why don't you spend the night here?" she asked, leaving him rather stunned. He had thought she would ask him to stay some more time, but spend the night? The only thought made him feel uneasy. "I hate being alone when I'm sick…" she tried to justify, but the truth was she wanted him there with her.

"Rach, I don't think it's a good idea…" he trailed off.

"I just want to talk to you…be distracted. Besides, this bed is huge! We won't even brush if that's what scares you…"

"it's not that…" he shyly said and lied.

"then?"

"what if the guys come in here and see us, they may get the wrong idea…"

"they won't come in here, and you can leave before they wake up…but please stay" she almost begged. Ross sighed deeply before finally accepting, a decision that put a big smile on Rachel's face.  
She immediately opened the covers for him and observed how he timidly laid on the other side of the bed, making sure there was enough room between them.

"aren't you gonna take your pants off?"

"what?" he asked, shocked by her question.

"I- I- mean, aren't you gonna be uncomfortable with Chandler's pants on?" she remade the question feeling embarrassed for her slip of tongue.

"er….no, I'm fine" he said, but truthfully, the pants were so tight he could barely bend his legs.

"you're lying" she said with an amused look on her face.

"okay, but- I'm wearing Chandler's underwear and…they are kind of…ridiculous and… small" Rachel burst into giggles."I shouldn't have told you" he said sending her a deadly stare.

"I'm sorry, I won't laugh again, but don't be silly and take them off! I promise I won't look" she said bringing her hand to her eyes. Ross looked at her bewildered for a moment, but since she didn't move he proceeded to take the pants off under the protective covers. When he threw them away, Rachel turned on her side, placing her arm over the pillow and supporting her head with her hand.

"so, now that we are recalling old times…tell me about your days as spy" she said with an interested grin on her lips.

"you didn't forget that, did you?"

"nu-uh, I told you I wanted to know details"

"Rach, I don't remember much of it, I was like…10!"

"no, no, don't try to sneak away, you must remember something…" she insisted sending him a pleading look. Ross hesitated for a moment.

"I do remember one thing…"he said tilting his head as he tried to search in his head.

"tell me!" she said excited, he looked at her hesitantly for a moment and started talking.

"ummm well, I remember being hidden under Monica's bed one day when you both walked in…I don't remember the whole thing but I know Monica was crying because she had been called "fatty" and you were trying to cheer her up by making fun of yourself…" Rachel wrinkled her nose amused.

"I did that?"

"yup…"

"How can you remember such thing? I don't even remember myself…"

"Well, I thought it was very sweet of you to do that…it always amazed me how you cared about Monica's feeling more than what people thought of you…" Rachel smiled endeared.

"I always thought of her as the sister I never had…" she said with a shrug. Ross chuckled.

"you have two sisters"

"if you can call them that…" Ross smiled amused by the way she crinkled her nose as saying it. "Tell me more things" Rachel demanded.

"I honestly don't remember much more…" he said shrugging.

"yeah right, you can remember thousands of weird dinosaurs names and you are not able to remember a thing of your past? Liar!" she accused him pointing him with her index, Ross chuckled softly.

"alright….what do you want me to tell you?"

"I don't know…whatever that comes to your mind" she said excited. Ross turned and laid on his back as his mind explored in his old forgotten memories. Rachel observed him carefully; his hands were entwined over his chest and his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, thinking something that his mouth wasn't telling.

"tic, tac, tic, tac" Rachel made a clock's sound to catch his attention; Ross' eyes moved back to her.

"I can't really think of anything" he said as he awkwardly lifted his body and rested his back on the headboard. Rachel did his same movements while sending him a stare.

"you were just thinking about something, don't lie to me…" "C'mon tell me!" she exclaimed as she tapped his arm.

"I- I- don't want to…" Rachel frowned.

"why?"

"because it would be getting into forbidden land…" he said cautiously.

"oh…" she muttered instantly getting what he meant. But her curiosity didn't die there; instead it grew bigger and made her wonder what was on his mind that he didn't want to share. Her lips parted, wanting to ask once again, she knew it could mean stepping into a dangerous minefield, but she had to take the risk.

"it's okay Ross, you can tell me…" she softly said with a small smile and looking up at his eyes "we are friends" she said trying to help but what she didn't know was that word kicked him like a rock being thrown right against his stomach.

"okay, but don't look at me…" Rachel arched an eyebrow in a question way but obeyed since his begging eyes didn't leave her any other choice. Rachel laid on her back and waited for him to start. She heard him clear his throat several times before finally beginning to speak.

"I- actually, I was thinking about…your prom night." He shyly began; Rachel bit her lip almost immediately, knowing already this would be more painful than she had thought, but she wanted to hear it more than anything. "I felt so embarrassed, so…stupid that night, well you saw it yourself…I was so ashamed that I promised myself I would forget you and get rid of my obsession. I know it sounds silly, but I was so devastated I even wanted to leave the city…" he said sincerely "with all those thoughts in my head I couldn't get much sleep that night so when you two came back I was still up…I tried to ignore you and go back to sleep but I heard your unmistakable sobbing and alarms went off in my head. I got up and went to Monica's room, and from the door I saw you crying. That imagine broke my heart, so much that I wanted to go in there and comfort you, but I knew you would most likely run away from me if I did that.." he said in a chuckle trying to make it funny but it actually saddened Rachel. "anyway…I stayed there as you two talked about what happened, when I heard what Chip had done to you I swear I felt like killing that guy…I even remember myself making plans to get back at him in your name" he said in a chuckle.

"why do you remember that night?" she interrupted him as she turned to look at him, tears blurring her eyes.

"what?" he asked, not having heard her question completely.

"why would you remember that night? It wasn't a pretty one for you…"

"because…" Ross looked down to avoid her gaze, knowing that his next words were going to make her feel awkward, but it was the only truth and he had to say it "because that night I realized my love for you was real…not just a simple, teenage crush; it was beyond that, I knew I wanted to protect you from all the jerks out there and give everything I had to make you the happiest woman on earth…but my shyness back then kept me from telling you that…and I lost some precious time…" Rachel's eyes filled with heartfelt tears as the urge to hold him and kiss him grew inside of her; she had seen his reaction in that old tape but to know how he felt that night was something she wasn't prepare to. She wanted to say something, to tell him that she appreciated what he so selflessly had done for her that night, but her attempts to keep the tears from falling didn't leave space for anything else.  
"anyway…that's all in the past…it doesn't matter now" he quietly said, maintaining his eyes fixed on his lap afraid to meet her gaze. Rachel breathed deeply and quickly passed her fingers over her eyes to dry the loose tears.

"it does matter" she softly said as she sat in his same position "the fact that we are not together doesn't mean I've forgotten all the beautiful things you have done for me…" she said looking for his eyes but he didn't lift his head "and what you did that night… even though I didn't know back then, means a lot to me and always will" After taking in her words he lifted his head and looked at her; her eyes were a little red but as beautiful as always.

"thanks" he murmured into the silence that had filled the room. Rachel sent him a brief smile before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes to gather the needed courage to ask the question that had been in her mind for so long.

"Can I ask you something?" she said almost in a whisper after a long silence. Ross looked at her doubtfully but nodded.

"sure…" Rachel looked ahead as she proceeded to speak.

"When you….were with her….did you….did you think of me?" she asked, trying to sound calm but tears reappeared in her eyes nonetheless; recalling that night wasn't very pleasant to say the least. She turned to look at him, wanting to see his eyes as he responded.

"all the time…" he confessed not breaking the eye contact, sadness and regret drawn across his face "she was you Rach, I was blind drunk and out of my mind…she started kissing me and I couldn't think properly…I thought she was you…" his throat tightened as he remember the horrible night. Rachel looked away as her tears started to run freely down her face. His eyes blurred as well but he managed to control it, not wanting to break down again in front of her. "I'm really sorry I jeopardized our relationship… I acted like complete idiot and I'll never forgive myself for that…"

"it wasn't entirely your fault Ross, If I hadn't said "we should take a break" none of this had happened…" she said, regret showing through her trembling voice.

"but I should have stayed and fight for you! But what did I do instead? I stormed out and spoiled it all" some more tears ran down the trace the firsts had drawn on her cheeks as she started to sob.

"let's not get into this again…" she said huskily "that's all I wanted to know..." she stated as she dried her face, not wanting to recall the images of him with "her" that tortured her almost every night.

"I'm sorry…" he said in her same tone as he looked to the other side and dried his face. Silence surrounded them again as they quietly collected themselves from the overwhelming conversation.

"we…should go to sleep" Rachel suggested, not knowing any other way to break the increasing silence.

"okay…" he softly said. They stayed still for some minutes doubting what to do.

"I guess I should switch off the lamp" Rachel said as she turned to her side to reach the lamp but before she could stretch her arm completely Ross stopped her.

"wait…I need to tell you something first…"

"…what is it?" she said confused, since his voice had sounded rather serious.

"when we go back to the city…I don't want to see you any longer"

"what?" Rachel said, puzzled by his words.

"I don't think we should see each other for a while…"

"but, wh-…why?" she asked weakly.

"because…I can't stand this situation anymore Rach…I can't see you and pretend we are simply friends, it's beyond my power…I love you, and I can't hide that. I think it's better for both of us if we are apart for some time…" Rachel bit her lip, getting newly tears in her eyes, an image that broke Ross' heart.

"but I don't want you away" she managed to say between tears as she grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed it, her trembling voice made his heart ache. "I need you here, I told you I needed time not that I did not want to see you"

"I know…" he said looking down; it was being harder than he had thought.

"don't go please…" she pleaded in a whisper, looking right into his eyes.

"I- I've been offered a temporary job in Boston some weeks ago…and I've already taken it" he said carefully, not hiding his own sadness. He didn't like it either but nor could he go on like this for longer.

"oh…"

"I wasn't going to…but we broke up and things…changed"

"so…it's all done" Ross slowly nodded "for how long are you gonna be there?" she asked in a high-pitched voice as she made efforts not to fall apart.

"6 months…"

"that's…great! I'm happy for you" she said sending him a smile and then turning the lamp off as laid on her side.

"what are you doing?" Ross asked, taken aback by her sudden change of mood.

"I'm going to sleep, my head is bothering me again" she said firmly, but her eyes told other truth. Since the room was in total darkness and she was out of his view she didn't hold back any longer and tears fell freely onto the pillow, leaving wet circles on it.

"you are mad" he said, knowing her better.

"no I'm not" she automatically replied. Ross sighed and laid on the bed as well. His eyes remained open, staring at the ceiling until they got used to the darkness of the place.

"Rach…" no answer "talk to me…I don't want to leave things this way"

"Ross I'm not mad okay? My head aches that's all"

"you are the worst liar ever" Rachel let a puff of air out and turned to lay on her back.

"I just can't believe you are doing this" she confessed, looking up at the ceiling too.

"doing what?"

"leaving…"

"I'm not going forever…"

"but still, I won't see you every day…" her honesty surprised him.

"isn't that what you wanted a week ago?" he joked.

"a week ago I would have liked to throw you into a hole, thank you very much" she joked back and they both laugh quietly.

"I'm gonna miss you, a lot" she suddenly said, leaving him wordless.

"so will I…" he replied a little later. Before he could pronounce another word, half of Rachel's body was over him and her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. It took him some seconds to record what was going on but soon enough his arms wrapped around her body as well, closing his eyes to take in the amazing feeling of having her between his arms again; the warmth of her body against his chest, the smell of her hair tickling his nose and her arms tightly around him were enough for him to wish that moment could last forever.

"I love you" she whispered trying to hide her sobs. Right in that moment there was no Chloe in her thoughts, no break up, there was the man she loved and her best friend telling her he was going away and she wasn't going to be able to see him every day as she had been doing for three years now; just thinking about it made her stomach turn.  
Ross squeezed her into his body, moved by her words.

"I love you too" he said, kissing her hair "and that will never change…whether I'm here or not" they stayed hugging each other for some minutes, enjoying a moment neither of them knew when they would be able to repeat.

"you are going to call, right?" she asked like a little girl before pulling away.

"of course" he said with a smile. Rachel smiled slightly and went back to her side, giving him the back. "good night" Ross heard her whisper. He got closer to her and placed a hand on her waist as he leaned over her to kiss her cheek. Something she wasn't expecting and made her shiver in surprise.

"good night" he whispered into her ear. When he was going to pull away he felt her fingers tangled through his own and bring him closer. He took the hint she wordlessly gave him and hugged her from behind.

"would you stay like this…please?" her words made him tremble with thrill and even for a moment he thought her words had been product of his imagination. But she nestled more into him and her legs crossed with his own, which made his heart race.

"sure…" he whispered as he hugged her more comfortably. He immediately knew he wouldn't get much sleep that night. Having her between his arms, his whole body in contact with hers, their hands entwined over her stomach and his nose brushing the smooth skin behind her ear was something he had missed so much that he wanted to enjoy it as much as possible while it lasted.

Rachel closed her eyes tightly as she melt into his hug, feeling his warmth transferring to her own body was an amazing feeling. She had missed that so much, cuddling with him always felt like heaven, and after almost a moth of being prevented of his strong arms this moment felt ten times better, but she also knew it would be ten times worse when he left. She silently cried as she wished everything had been a nightmare, that she hadn't said the "a break form us" and he had never cheated on her and nor was he leaving in a few days. "sweet dreams princess" his voice sounded softly in her hear, Rachel smiled widely at his lovely words and felt his lips press lightly against her temple, a simple kiss that sent her to cloud nine. All her sad thoughts left her head instantly and she decided to enjoy that precious moment as it lasted, she would have time to be sad later.  
...


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 AND LAST.**

"Rachel, I forgot to tell you, Ross is coming home in a few hours" Monica said as she entered Rachel's bedroom and spotted her reading in her bed.

"what!" she exclaimed in a jump. "I thought he wasn't coming in another 4 months" she said bewildered.

"well yes, he is just coming to take Ben, he'll leave tomorrow but he wanted to have dinner with us first"

"that's great" she said trying not to give away how extremely excited and nervous she was about it. She had missed him terribly much; it had been two months without his presence, although to her it seemed he had been away for a whole year.

She got dressed and waited in the living room while Monica prepared the meal. Her eyes were staring at the bright screen of the Tv but actually seeing nothing, since her mind was concentrated in the purple door of their apartment, waiting for any possible sound that could confirm he was there. When that moment came, her heart skipped a beat in anticipation.

"come in!" Monica shouted from the kitchen. Rachel immediately stood up and held her air as she watched the door open slowly.

"Hi!" Ross greeted with a wide smile as he got into the apartment and walked towards his sister. Rachel's happy smile instantly faded away from her lips and her face went pale as if she had seen a ghost.

"hello" a woman's voice sounded with shyness behind him. Said woman was holding Ross' hand and seemed to be really close to him. Rachel could feel her heart sinking at the sight in front of her. _who was that woman and what was she doing holding his hand!_

"oh hi! You are…?" Monica said politely.

"she is my girlfriend, Sarah" Ross told her with a proud smile on his face. His words petrified Rachel's body completely. _His girlfriend?_ Her mind repeated in spite of herself, she could feel her eyes burning with tears and a sharp pain breaking into her chest. "Ross" she called his name, but he didn't seem to have noticed her presence nor heard her voice. "Ross" she called him louder, but it was useless, it was as if she had become invisible to him. Tears began to pour off her eyes as she tried to breath deeply; the anxiety provoked by the view in front of her was suffocating her and no one seemed to notice. She then closed her eyes and tried to evade from that painful moment…

Her eyes opened widely; complete darkness surrounded her, which made her realize everything had been a dream. She sighed deeply as she pulled herself up on the bed; her body was covered in sweat and was trembling quite noticeably. She brought her hands to her face as she recalled the awful dream, the same dream that had been bothering her for a long time now, since he left and she had not received a single call from him.  
"damn you Geller!" she said aloud in frustration. She couldn't comprehend why he hadn't called her as he had promised two months ago before leaving. She felt angry, mad towards him, but more than anything she felt sad; thinking he might have forgotten her or even worse: he could have found a new woman to give his love to. The only thought made her heart sink in pain.  
Not having news from him was like having no air to breathe; she needed to talk to him, hear his voice, know how he was, what he was doing…everything! in order to be happy again. But she couldn't; she had no way to contact with him even if she wanted to, since when he left, he only mentioned Boston, and no address or phone number was given, which got her really angry the first weeks, then she got used to it, as she didn't have any other choice but resign herself and wait for his call, which hadn't had come yet.  
Leaving her worries behind she decided to get up and have a long bath to try calm herself, since she had only an hour left before work.

When she got back home all her friends were gathered in the living room.  
"hey guys" she said as she hung her coat in the hanger and walked towards them. Phoebe, Joey and Chandler directed a rather nervous look towards her. Rachel frowned estranged.

"what's up?"

"emm nothing! We were heading to the coffee place, right Joe?" Chandler clumsily said as he stood up and smacked Joey's shoulder.

"what?" he asked confused "oh yeah…wanna come Rach?" Joey asked as he stood up too, but Rachel didn't seem to have heard his question since all her attention went to Monica, who was murmuring something into the phone.

"Alright, love you, bye" she said before hanging up.

"who was that?" Rachel asked nervously, understanding now the weirdness in her friends' behaviour.

"that was…Ross" Monica said carefully as she placed the telephone back in its place.

"oh…" she let out, trying to hide the happiness and disappoint she was feeling altogether. It had been the first call since he had been away and she hadn't had the chance to talk to him. "What did he say?" She asked trying to sound casual.

"no much…he said that everything is going very well and that he wants me to bring him Ben next week…oh, and he sends everyone his regards" Monica said with a smile.

"that's all?" she said with an artificial smile. _Hadn't he asked for her?_

"pretty much"

"great!" she said giving a small smile and heading towards her room. Everyone in the room fell in silence and shared looks, knowing perfectly what each other was thinking.

"so…coffee place?" Joey said after some seconds.

"yes! I have to play my songs in about half an hour!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I'll go ask Rach if she wants to come, I'll be right back" Monica said walking towards Rachel's bedroom. She knocked softly and entered.

"hey, are you okay?" Monica asked her.

"yes, I'm perfectly fine, why?" she asked sloppily as she pretended to be busy straightening up her closet.

"nothing…just wondering…hey, do you want to come with us to the coffee place?"

"thanks, but I'll pass…I'm kind of tired…it's been a really tiring day in the office"

"you've been saying that pretty much every day now…"

"well, we've had a busy month Mon, it's not my fault"

"honey, I know you, that's not the real reason" she carefully said as she placed her hands over her shoulders. Rachel turned around and smile.

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"you haven't placed a foot in the coffee place in two months…"

"so? I've been working a lot and I'm too exhausted when I get home, I just don't feel like hanging out…"

"are you telling me the truth?"

"of course Monica, why would I lie in such thing anyway?"

"right…but honey you need to get your mind out of work from time to time…"

"I know and I promise you I'll go with you guys as soon as I have a break, okay?"

"okay…" she said finally giving up, knowing she wasn't going to open up as much as she tried to push her. "have a good rest then…see you later"

"see ya" Rachel replied as she turned back to her closet. When she finally heard the main door of the apartment closing she let herself plop on her bed and sighed. She had lied; it wasn't true that she had loads of work that didn't leave her time for anything else. That was an excuse, an excuse she had made up to avoid going to a place that was full of memories; good, bad and wonderful memories that always involved him, Reason why she hadn't felt brave enough to go back there yet.

The sound of the telephone blocked her thoughts and her heart instinctively began to beat fast inside her chest thinking it could be him calling. Before the third ring could sound she had picked up the phone.

Meanwhile Monica, Chandler and Joey observed from their seat a focussed Phoebe, who was at the moment singing her characteristic song "smelly cat". However, no one of them was actually paying attention to the song; Joey was hungrily looking back and forth towards the counter, waiting for his delicious muffin to come and give it the biggest bite. Chandler, on his side, was laughing by himself at some jokes he had made earlier that day, while Monica's mind was occupied with Rachel and her big change in the latest weeks.

"hey, you okay?" Chandler asked, noticing how quiet she was.

"I'm fine; I'm just worried about Rachel…"

"what's up with her?"

"that's the thing, I don't know what's up with her, she doesn't tell me anything anymore, but I KNOW there's something bothering her!"

"Have you asked her?"

"duh? Of course I have, but she always tells me she is fine, and when I try to insist she makes up an excuse and shuts herself in her bedroom"

"maybe Ross has something to do with this…"

"I guess…she isn't the same since he left but…she hardly ever mentions him… It's like she doesn't care-" some clapping was heard as Phoebe ended her performance and went back to her friends.

"that was really great Pheebs" said Joey.

"I know, I know" she said as she took a seat "what were you talking about?"

"Ross" said Chandler

"oh! Let's make a road trip and visit him!" she said all excited.

"yeah!" Joey soon joined her.

"guys I don't think it's a good idea, he is very busy, he can't even come to take Ben"

"he'll have time for his lovely friend Phoebe! Who is coming with me? Joey, Chandler?"

"okay" they both said at the same time.

"alright, we'll make a road trip…" Monica said rolling her eyes "but first I need to ask him, okay?" everyone agreed.

"should we tell Rachel?" Joey asked.

"of course! We are gonna have so much fun!" said Phoebe clapping her hands several times.

"well, now you have a way to figure out if this is about Ross" Chandler told her.

…..

"yes?" Rachel quickly said, dying to hear his voice in the other end.

"oh, Hi Rachel! How are you dear?"

"hi Judy…" she replied rather disappointed as she sat on the couch "I'm fine thanks, were you looking for Monica?"

"yes, is she around?"

"I'm afraid no, but I can take the message for her if you want"

"it's okay…I'll call tomorrow, thank you dear"

"wait Judy!"

"yes?"

"Ross called today, I thought you'd like to know"

"He called us too, Isn't it great that he's getting promoted? I'm so proud of him"

"he is?" she said shocked "Monica didn't mention that…"

"oh well, he probably didn't want to share it until it was official…but he is going to be the head of the department soon"

"wow! That is really great!" she said, meaning her words, she felt really happy for him, but she hated that she wasn't able to congratulate him in person.

"it is! Though a whole year without my son it's gonna be really hard, I hate that" Judy said saddened.

"what?" she said breathlessly, had she said a year? Before she was able to speak again Judy excused herself.

"dear, I have to go, tell Monica I called okay?, bye" and with that she hung up, leaving her completely frozen. A year. The telephone slid off her hand and dropped to the floor, that couldn't be happening, she must be in another dream of her, how was he going to stay away from them for a whole year? had he forgotten them, moreover, had he forgotten her? this was supposed to be a provisional thing, why was he extending his stay? Now more than ever her theory of him having another woman started to weigh in her head and that brought painful tears to her eyes.

Full of anger she stormed towards her bedroom, closing the door with a loud slam. She walked towards her closet and took out her "Ross box" and directly threw it onto the bed; the box opened and all the things in it spread out, some even dropped to the floor due to the force she had used. Out of her mind, she took the first picture she found and ripped it completely in two parts as an irate groan escaped her mouth. Another three photos followed the same end as the first one before she realized what she had done.  
As regretful tears began to escape her eyes she slowly knelt down on the floor and picked up the pieces. A sharp pinch hit her stomach when she looked at the pictures she had shattered; one of them belonged to their first and only valentine's day together. Ross had taken her to a beautiful cabin in The Hamptons to spend the weekend, but they never got to see the place since they practically never left the room in those 48 hours. A sad smile crossed her face as a tear dropped onto the photo; she dried it off with her thumb as she placed the two pieces together. In the picture they were both on the bed, Rachel was only wearing his baggy t-shirt, her hair pulled up in a messy pony tail and she was leaning on Ross' chest, while Ross, who was only wearing his boxers, had his arms protectively around her body and his chin resting on her shoulder as they both smiled happily to the camera. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as memories of that weekend collapsed her mind. She aimlessly crawled onto the bed and laid there, pressing the pictures against her chest as she began to sob; many of the best moments of her life had been thanks to him, how was she going to be able to live without him?

The next morning when she woke up her head was pounding as if she was suffering from the worst hangover. She slowly got up and frowned observing her surroundings. A knock on her door woke her up completely.

"Rach, are you there?" said Monica from the other side. Rachel's eyes widened seeing Ross' stuff spread all over.

"yes, wait a sec!" she yelled as she quickly put everything in the box and hid it back in her closet. Taking a last glance at her bedroom she hurried to the door. "yes?"

"good morning sleepyhead, or should I say good afternoon?" Rachel frowned and looked at her watch, it was almost midday. "you really were tired, weren't you?"

"I was, yes" she said nodding along "did you want anything?"

"I just wanted to know… Did someone call last night? Because the phone was on the floor and I hadn't left it there" she said with her hands on her waist.

"yup, your mom called, she wanted to talk to you but she didn't leave a message"

"thanks, and please! Next time put the phone in its place, otherwise I'll get into your bedroom and mess it all up! Okay, I couldn't do that, but I'll find something to make you pay for it!" she said raising her finger.

"O-kay" said Rachel as she passed through her and took the milk cartoon out of the fridge and grabbed a glass. Seeing she had sat at the table Monica decided it was the perfect moment to bring the Ross topic.

"so Rach…" she began as she walked towards the kitchen "Phoebe got an idea yesterday and…we are planning to go on a trip, to visit Ross…do you wanna come?" she quickly asked. The question took Rachel by surprise and couldn't pronounce a word "it'd be just a few days…"

"I-…I don't think I can" she said and quickly drank the glass and stood up to carry it to the sink.

"it'll be next month…you still have time to ask your boss for some days off" Monica followed her closely, so that she couldn't get away from the conversation this time.

"still…we have a lot of work these months Mon…I can't just leave it" she lied, getting nervous knowing the conversation wouldn't end there.

"what's the matter with you? don't you want to see Ross?" Monica finally exploded. Rachel closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Of couse she wanted to see him, more than anything in the world.

"I do! But I have more important things to do" she said, not really aware of her words.

"oh, so my brother doesn't mean anything to you anymore?" Monica said, getting angry.

"well, he doesn't care about me either!" she finally said it.

"what are you talking about? You know he loves you!"

"right! that's why he is extending his stay to a whole year, because he loves me!" she snapped, not hiding her resentment towards him.

"how do you know that" Monica asked beyond perplexed. Rachel looked straight into her eyes.

"your mom told me…"

"it's not official yet…" Monica said softly, knowing the news had caused a deep sadness in Rachel.

"why didn't you tell me?" Rachel's voice cracked, finally getting rid of the hard shield she had been using and showing her real emotions. Monica moved by the sight wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry you found out this way…he told me not to tell you anything…"

"why is he doing this Mon? I didn't want this, I didn't want him to leave!"

"honey…I hate to say this" she said grabbing her face stained with tears "but you two are not together anymore…you have to go on with your lives, separately"

"I still love him Mon…I can't forgive him but I want him in my life! I can't live seeing him once or twice a year…" Monica had to bite her lip, moved by her friend's words.

"then come and tell him that…"

"I can't do that…he doesn't want to see me"

"don't be crazy! How could he not want to see you!"

"he told me"

"yeah right…" Rachel took a deep breath.

"Mon, when we were at the cabin we had an open heart conversation about our situation…and he told me he had taken the job because he couldn't stand seeing me as a friend"

"I can understand that…but it doesn't mean he has cut you off his life honey, I'm sure you'll make him the happiest man in the planet if you came too"

"I don't know…"

"don't make a decision now and consider coming, please"

...  
The month passed faster than she had thought. Work kept her pretty busy throughout the days, which helped her to get him out of her mind during the day. But nights were different. In her lonely bedroom she silently cried her eyes out almost every day, wishing he was there with her, holding her, kissing her, being the Ross she knew, the Ross she had fallen in love with. But he wasn't there nor had he called even once to check how she was, and that fact was tearing her heart apart little by little. It was hurting her so much that thoughts of giving him up had begun to round her mind.

Tired of being shut in her room she took her coat and left her room. Monica was in the living room preparing the last things for the trip, since they were leaving early in the morning. She directed a sad look towards Rachel; they had had a conversation earlier that day where Rachel had made clear her decision of not going. Monica had tried to change her mind along the day but stubborn Rachel hadn't given in.

"going somewhere?"

"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back soon" she said with a small smile as she immediately disappears behind the door.

"Hey Rach!" Joey's voice sounded when she was downing the stairs. She turned around and smiled.

"Joey! Where are you going?"

"to buy some pizzas"

"how is that?" she asked estranged. "why don't you order it by phone?"

"I would, but I made a bet with Chandler"

"which bet?"

"that I was able to go a whole week not eating pizza"

"oh…I see, you are SO gonna win it, aren't you?" she said in a smirk.

"you haven't seen me okay?" he said serious.

"okay" she said smiling.

"where were you going?" he asked as they both reached the portal.

"nowhere actually…just, walk around…"

"by yourself?" joey asked confused.

"yup…"

"care if I go with you?"

"are you giving up your pizzas for me?" she said with an amused look.

"no! I'm going afterwards" he answered with his eyes widened as if she had said some crazy thing.

They began to walk in silence across the streets of the village. It was near 9 pm so the streets were almost deserted.

"are you okay? You are quiet"

"I've been better…"

"Ross again?" Rachel tilted her head, gesture that let him he was right. "let's sit down" he said as he placed his hand on her shoulder and guided her to a near bench at the entrance of a park.

"why don't you just come Rach? Talk things with him" she lowered her head and sighed, tired of being asked the same question.

"it's not that simple"

"and why not?"

"I'm scared…what if I go there and I find out he has another woman…or he doesn't want to know about me…or-"

"Rach, Rach! did you loose your mind or something?" Joey interrupted her. Rachel looked at him and slowly shrugged. "let me remind you something…Ross LOVES you" Rachel lowered her face again, getting tears in her eyes as she remembered the last night in the cabin, he told her those same words, but he also said he would call and what? nothing. "and you love him too. Don't try to deny that"

"I do…but things are not the same anymore…"

"why? Because he cheated on you?" Joey snapped leaving her beyond dumbfounded.  
"some of us consider that a betrayal you know?" she said sending him a hurtful stare.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way…but you should know something" he softly said "most guys DO cheat on purpose, Ross didn't"

"still…he did it"

"I know, but are you willing to let the love of your life go for that? Because I'll tell you something; if you are expecting to find a better guy than Ross…you are lost" his words left her stunned. She had never put it that way; the idea of being with someone else had never crossed her mind, practically because she hadn't given him up completely. "you'll never find a man who will love you as much as Ross does, that guy has been in love with you since forever! And that night he was completely broken, he wasn't Ross, he was…a soulless body! He is himself when he is with you and I haven't seen you happier that when you are with him…think about every day you have spent with him and compare it with somebody you have gone out with too…Do you really want to throw all that away?" Rachel closed her eyes and did what he had told her. And sure enough she hadn't been nearly as happy with someone else as she had been with Ross.

"No…" she said after a silence.

"then it's your turn. Forgive him, do something. But don't wait, if you do it may get too late…" her body trembled with his words and It felt as if they had woken up from a deep sleep. He was right; she had to do something before it was too late. But what?

"thank you" she whispered with a smile as she wrapped her arms around him.

"you're welcome" he said as he hugged her back. "are you coming then?"

Joey's question echoed in her head as she paced up and down in her bedroom. Should she go? They would be leaving in 3 hours and she didn't have anything packed. It was practically impossible to do so in such short time. _Do something. But don't wait, if you do it may get too late… _Joey's words haunted her again. She began to pace faster as her mind tried to think of the right decision when her foot stepped on something.  
"ouch!" she exclaimed as low as possible, not wanting to wake up Monica. She knelt down and grabbed the little object. Air got caught in her throat as she observed the pin in her hands; the one Ross had presented her in her first birthday in the city.

_"It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!" a younger Rachel said surprised_

"Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune." Phoebe said.

"I can't believe he did this." Monica added.

"Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?" said Chandler, revelling this way Ross' secret love towards Rachel.

She remembered that day perfectly. How would she forget it! It had changed her life in every way. A sweet smiled appeared in her lips, remembering his shock after having found out she knew about his feelings. He had been so shy and sweet. Their first kiss also popped into her head, making her shiver from head to toes. It had been one of those kisses you frequently see in movies but that you never think it's going to happen to you, but it happened to her and it was beyond amazing. She let herself fall onto the bed as she brought the pin to her lips. More and more memories loaded her mind as the desire of seeing him grew inside of her. She took a deep breath and jumped off her bed and quickly began to put some clothes into a bag: She had made up her mind, she was going to Boston. She had to talk to him and alone.  
She put some more things into the bag and silently crept out of her room. Thankfully, Monica had left all the papers for the travel perfectly in order on the kitchen table so it didn't take her long to find the paper where his address was written. She put it into her jeans pocket and quickly wrote something else in another piece of paper before finally leaving to the airport, scared but determined to do it.

….  
"Pheebs, are we in Boston yet?" a sleepy Joey asked her from the back seat for the third time in less than an hour.

"we have another hour left"

"god! Is Boston in another country or what? We've been on the road for five hours!"

"and you've been sleeping for four and a half! Will you shut up?" Chandler said irritated. Joey sent him an hateful stare.

"I can't believe Rachel hasn't come with us" said Phoebe.

"I know, I actually thought she would…" said Monica.

"we have to do something" Phoebe said.

"no, we have done enough, if they want to get things right they'll have to do it by themselves" Monica stated.

"I'm hungry!" Joey whined again.

"ugh! Let's stop somewhere, the baby needs to eat!" chandler said rolling her eyes.

…  
"Hi" Rachel said as she got into the taxi.

"hello ma'am, where to?" the cab driver asked.

"here" she said as she handed him the paper with trembling hands. The taxi immediately pulled off as a wave of panic ran through her body. She was in Boston and there was not turning back. Only some minutes kept her from being face to face with him after nearly 4 months.  
She stood still in front of that wooden door for over ten minutes; completely frozen and scared. What if he didn't want to see her? or, what if he was with somebody?. She breathed profoundly in order to collect herself. What was she thinking? It was Saturday early in the morning; it would be unlikely for him to be with someone, At least she hoped so.  
Her right hand curled up into a fist and knocked on the door before she could back down. Her body tensed and heart beat increased so much she could hear it pounding in her ears. She had done it. She had knocked and he would appear behind that door any moment.  
The door opened few seconds later and there he was, looking as handsome as ever, wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. His eyes were widened due to the shock it had caused him to see her there.

"Ra-Rachel…what are you doing here?" he managed to say when he registered she was actually standing before him. All her fears left her when his sweet voice sounded.

"Well, you didn't call…and I was getting worried" She said with a small smile as she bit her bottom lip.

"I-…" before he could explain himself she gave a step forwards and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she brought him down for a missed hug. The gesture took him by surprised but soon enough he did the same and wrapped her into a tight hug. He buried his nose in her hair, filling his lungs with that coconut smell that characterized her, after four months away from her it all made him feel like in a dream. He squeezed her a little more, making sure she wasn't a vision and that she really was there.

"Can we talk?" Rachel asked as she slowly pulled away.

"sure, come in" he said, still dazed by her presence, as he moved away from the entrance and let her walked in. Rachel left the bag on the floor and looked at the foreign surrounds.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"no, I'm fine, thanks"

"okay…let's sit down then" he awkwardly said. He hadn't been expecting her visit and he didn't know exactly how to act or how to explain why he hadn't called mainly because he didn't even know himself.

Rachel sat down in the white couch as she cleared her throat, she had prepared a whole speech while in the cab but now it seemed the words had mixed up in her head. "So this is your apartment? It looks nice!" she said, trying to win herself some time.

"yup, it's nice…less noisy than in NY that's for sure"

"are you happy here?" she asked, knowing that if he said yes she wouldn't be able to hide her sadness.

"…I like the job, and the people here are very nice..."

"uh-um…"

"but it's not home" he said with a sad smile.

"We miss you there…it's not the same without you" she said in a murmur, referring more to her own feelings than to the rest's.

"I miss you too…" he murmured as he grabbed her hand "so much" Rachel bit her lips, shied away by his intense look.

"why didn't you call? I've missed you so much" she asked almost voiceless, she was starting to lose it and she knew tears were going to make appearance in her eyes sooner or later. Ross looked down.

"I don't know…I guess I was…trying to proof myself that I can live without you…"

"oh…" she said lowering her face, those words had hit her harder than the strongest pouch. "and…Can you?" she asked looking at him and pretending to be fine. He slowly nodded.

"I can…but I'm so miserable" he confessed, he saw how her eyes watered but she quickly brushed them off with her fingers. He grabbed her hand again and stroked it with his thumb, just to be able to do that after so long brightened his mood. "God, I can't believe you are here, I- I'm really sorry that I didn't call…it's just-"

"don't apologize" she said as she placed a finger on his lips. "Can we go someplace? I need fresh air…and I need to tell you something" her last sentence worried him a little, was it good or bad what she had to tell him?

"I can't leave Rach…they guys are coming today"

"I don't think they are…" she said biting her lip guiltily "unless they are smart enough to figure out your real address"

"what are you talking about?" he asked confused.

"I kinda…stole your address from Mon and wrote something else in another paper" his eyes widened in surprise.

"why?"

"because I needed to talk to you, alone"

"so…they don't know you are here?" she shook her head. "and they are going to somebody else's house" she nodded with an amused smile.

"you're crazy!" he said, letting out a chuckle.

"Can we go now? I've come to tell you something and if I don't do it now I'll probably won't be able later"

They strolled next to each other in silence as they made their way to a nearby park. Despite being spring the day was fairly cold, but the sun shining upon their heads gave the day a beautiful light. The trees of the park had recovered their leaves and looked greener than ever. Rachel walked ahead of him, observing the beautiful nature of that park but at the same time replying in her head the words that she was going to tell him. She finally stopped in the middle of the bridge that communicated one shore of the big pond with the other. She rested her hands on the balustrade and gazed at the glittering water, few people were around, which let her know that wasn't New York City, but it felt right, because the one person she loved was there, just behind her waiting to hear whatever she had to say.

"Rach…what is it?" Ross asked after some minutes, her quietness was making him really nervous. She sighed and slowly turned around.

"okay, I'm gonna say it, but please, please…don't interrupt me" she begged with her hands together. Ross arched an eyebrow, more confused than before.

"okay…" Rachel pressed her lips together and then looked at him, a small smile formed in her lips.

"mainly…what I wanted to tell you is that…if you are going to stay here, I will too!" she blurt out. "but I don't want you away from me anymore, I don't, I miss you so damn much I can't even think and-"

"what are you saying, Rach?" he asked getting closer, leaving only a few inches between them. Rachel looked up at him, straight into his hazel eyes.

"I'm saying that…I love you, and I want to be with you, always" she said from the bottom of her heart. Ross bit his lip, unbelieving what he had just heard.

"can you say it again?" he requested with a smile on his lips, Rachel smiled back.

"I love yo-" her words were interrupted by his lips being pressed strongly against her mouth as his hands, placed on both sides of her face, dragged her closer. His unexpected kiss left her stunned and made her knees go weak instantly as a wave of pleasure ran through her body. Her lips began to play in sync with his while her arms went to his face as well, craving to feel him closer. After so long, that kiss felt beyond amazing for both of them. When the kiss finally slowed down they smiled against each other's mouth, amazed by what had just happened.  
When he moved away from her she couldn't help but bring her fingertips to her swell lips which were forming a shy smile in her face. Her eyes locked with his and she could read her same feelings right through them.

"is this for real?" he asked shaking his head in disbelief.

"it is" she said entwining her fingers through his.

"but how, why?"

"Because…everybody makes mistakes…and if I lose you because of my stupid insecurities I would never be able to forgive myself. I love you, and that's all that matters. I don't want to be with anybody else if it's not you" Moved by her words he brought her for another kiss, this time being so passionate that she had to grab on his jacket in order to stay on her feet. Breathless, he took her face between his hands and looked at her beautiful blue eyes, which were sparkling with pure happiness.

"I love you so so so much! Please, tell me you are not joking" he said desperate.

"I'm not joking"

"but…what about what I di-"

"that's all forgotten" she quickly said "It's in the past and this is a new beginning, okay? We BOTH made some really awful mistakes that kept us apart, but I realized I was making another big mistake by not forgiving you…I was being the reason of my own misery and I couldn't go on like that…"  
"you mean you are forgiving me?" He repeated incredulous. It was too much information to take in such short time. He had never expected to see her there in Boston, and even less saying all those things he had been wishing to hear from her mouth for half a year now. Rachel slowly nodded with a smile, seeing how his eyes covered with little tears of happiness.

"I love you Rach, I promise nothing like that will ever happen again…I don't want to screw this up again."

"neither do I, I love you too much to let you go again" she said.

"you are amazing" he whispered with a goofy smile as he slowly leaned in and placed a little peck on her lips. Her arms immediately went around her neck as she kissed him harder.

"do you want to go somewhere?" he asked out of breath.

"how about your apartment? You haven't showed me the rest of the rooms yet" she said arching her eyebrow sensually.

"that's sounds perfect" he replied grinning as he held her hand.

…  
"we are here!" Phoebe exclaimed excited as she stopped her grandma's cab.

"at last!" Joey said as he hopped out of the car. They all got out of the cab as well.

"This is his neighbourhood? Fancy!" Phoebe said looking at the luxury houses around.

"wow! I thought he was living in an apartment" Chandler said.

"so did I" Monica added confused.

"let's go already! I'm peeing!" Joey exclaimed. Together, the four walked the little path till reach the main door of "his" house. Monica pressed the ring bell and smiled at the rest as they waited for him to open it. But instead, an old man appeared behind the door.

"Hello, may I help you?" the old man said politely. The friends looked at each other surprised.

"Ross? what happened to you!" Phoebe said pulling a face.

"sorry but…I'm not Ross"

"oh thank goodness!" she exaggeratedly said bringing her hand to her chest. Monica just stared at her.

"I'm sorry Sir, we may have confused the address" Monica said.

"do you know if Ross Geller lives around here?" Chandler asked. The old man thought for a moment and then shook his head.

"I don't, sorry"

"it's alright, thanks anyway" he said with an smile as they began to walk back to the car.

"Phoebe, are you sure this is the right address?" Monica asked looking at the paper.

"yes, you can see it right there, Central Park street" she said pointing at a sign.

"then he gave us the wrong address? What do we do now?"

"let's go to a bar and call him from there" Joey said shrugging. Having no other option they got into the cab again in search for a bar.

….

Back in the apartment they both walked in feeling a little bit shy.

"so, do you wanna see the apartment?" he asked as he closed the door. Rachel turned around with a naughty grin in her face.

"maybe later" she murmured as she pulled him into a kiss and began to get rid of his jacket. His response came right away as he introduced his hands under her coat and pressed her against his body, wanting to feel as much of her as possible. They both moaned into each other's mouth, feeling overwhelmed by the many feelings that one simple kiss awake in them. They got so into the kiss that they didn't hear the ringing of his phone the first time. Rachel sighed frustrated when she felt his lips move away from hers when the phone rang again.

"let it ring" she begged pouting as she grabbed on his T-shirt. He smiled sweetly and kissed the tip of her nose.

"it might be important…"

"let me get it then, I'll let them know you are all mine today!" she said winking her eye. Ross let out a chuckle and encircled her waist from behind as they walked towards the phone.

"HI, this is Ross Geller's secretary, may I help you?" she said "professionally" while Ross tried not to laugh behind her. He tightened the grip on her and began to kiss her neck sensually.

"hi, Can I speak to Ross?" a familiar voice said from the other side.

"I'm sorry, but he is not home, May I take the message?" she said with her eyes closed as she tried not to succumb at his amazing work on her neck.

"RACHEL? It's that you?" Rachel's eyes widened suddenly and quickly covered the receiver with her hand.

"it's Monica!" she said with panic as she turned around to look at him "what do I tell her?"

"let me get that" he said, stealing the phone from her hand. "hey Mon! how are you"

"Ross? Is Rachel there with you?"

"No…listen Mon, I'm so sorry, I won't be able to be with you guys this weekend, I've a very important meeting with someone" he said looking at Rachel and smiling from ear to ear. "can you come another weekend?"

"but Ross we are already here! What do we do now?"

"there are plenty of hotels in Boston you know?"

"really? I didn't know, thank you brother" she said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Mon, I wasn't expecting this turn out of events. It's a very important meeting, I can't get away…"

"Liar! That's all I'm going to say" Monica said, knowing perfectly what he was trying to hide "you BOTH are gonna pay for this…but…I'm happy you are having this "meeting'" she added with a softer tone.

"thank you" he said, glowing of happiness.

"it's alright…talk to you two later, okay?"

"okay. Sorry again. I love you"

"love you too, bye" Monica said before hanging up.

"done" Ross said grinning and throwing the phone to the couch.

"I can't believe you did that" she said shaking her head and smiling at the same time. "they are gonna be soooo mad"

"they'll get over it…now where were we?" he said with a mischievous smile as he lifted her up in his arms.

"I think you were going to show me your bedroom…" she sensually said as her fingers played with the collar of his T-shirt.

"right!" he said as he headed towards the bedroom carrying her in his arms and not able to break eye contact with her "you're gonna love the curtains" he added, making Rachel let out a loud chuckle.

"you're so silly" she said sweetly before melting with him into another passionate kiss.

The next morning he woke up still on a high, it had been a day full of events, wonderful events that he knew it'd stay in his mind forever.  
He turned on his side and observed her small figure sleeping beside him; a big smile broke into his lips as he recalled the day before, which mostly had been spent in that bed they were laying now. They made love so many times he couldn't even count them. it had been magical…reassuring…and simply amazing to finally be able to hug her, kiss her and love her again, and not just in his dreams.  
He got closer to her and placed a kiss on her forehead while pushing some blocks of hair off her face.

"you are so beautiful" he whispered, stoking her cheek carefully.

"you are too" she whispered as she slowly opened her eyes and sent him a smile, the most beautiful one he had ever seen.

"good morning princess" He smiled back and leaned down to kiss her lips as at the same time he pinched her arm.

"ouch! what's that for?" she exclaimed sending him a stare.

"I was checking I wasn't dreaming" he said with a smile.

"well, you are doing it the wrong way, you have to pinch yourself"

"but I like touching you…" he murmured as he caught her lips between his and turned them over so she was laying upon him. She then rested her elbows on his chest and looked at him endeared.

"you are not dreaming sweetie, this is real"

"and you don't know how happy it makes me that it is"

"I do know" she said with the widest smile. She moved her hands to his hair and played with it as they melt into another kiss.

"what are you gonna do now?" she asked a little later.

"what do you mean?"

"about your promotion…"

"oh…I didn't know you knew…"

"if you want to take it, I'm fine with it" she quickly said.

"you are?" he said, a bit saddened.

"yes, because I'll stay too"

"what?" he said dumbfounded.

"I'll quit my job if it's necessary. I want to be with you no matter the way…I won't let a job be an obstacle in our relationship again. So if you wanna stay I'll stay too" he smiled and grabbed her face with his hands to show her his deep love with another kiss. She licked her lips and smiled.

"I can't believe you…you'd really do that?"

"without blinking, you have always been the one giving things up for me, now it's my turn…if you decide to go on with it, fine. I'll be here supporting you, and giving you all my love" she said sweetly.

"I love you so much" he murmured, touched by her words. "well, it won't be necessary because we are returning to Nyc tomorrow"

"you sure?" she said, not able to hide her happiness.

"yeah…I like this job…but I've been miserable without you…I want to go back to NYC and get a new life together started" he said stroking her smooth back.

"I love you, you know that right?" she said leaning to kiss his lips.

"I do" he murmured, welcoming her mouth. The kiss turned into a hotter one as their hands began to wander around each other's body. His tongue invaded her mouth while her legs slid to his sides and straddled him. Her hips unconsciously began to brush against his body, making him moan with pleasure. A noise that turned her on beyond know. She closed her eyes and breathless murmured into his ear.

"do you think we can stay in Boston for some days? I want to see the city.." she said with a grin.

"of course…you'll like it as much as The Hamptons" Rachel let out a loud chuckle.

"I bet I will" she said as she returned to kiss him.

They made love again, not wasting the moment to whisper "I love you's" to each other over and over again. They felt renewed, more in love with each other if it was possible, but moreover, they knew this time there wouldn't be anything or anybody that could break them apart, they were in the same place, they both wanted to make it work and that left all their insecurities behind. They wanted to be happy forever, and together, simply because there didn't exist someone as perfect for them as each other.

The end.  
...


End file.
